Sideshow: Clooney: Gay, gay? OK

Stepping boldly where dozens of gender-studies profs have failed before him, Oscar-winner

George Clooney

has deconstructed those outworn, totalitarian, hierarchical binaries,

male/female

and

straight/gay

, which trap us all in such existential shackles. And it's all in Esquire!

In a chat excerpted by People.com, Clooney responds to Internet rumors about the state of his manliness with disarming frankness - which, frankly, betrays a manly, yet sensitive, self-confidence.

Asked about his alleged war with escaped cartoon character

Fabio

, who says that he could,

like totally

, beat up Clooney, the

Michael Clayton

star says, "There is a moment when . . . you're thinking, 'If I do get beaten down by Fabio, that will be far worse than the pain.' "

And in response to a Web site that calls him "gay, gay, gay," the 46-year-old former

Facts of Life

star says, "No, I'm gay, gay. The third gay, that was pushing it."

(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Bourne Supremacy

assassin

Matt Damon

, 37, and his wife

Luciana

, 32, are expecting their second baby together. Matt's rep tells People.com that the couple, who announced the happy news Sunday night after the Empire Film Awards in London, "couldn't be happier."

Matt and Luciana have a 1-year-old girl,

Isabella

, and also are raising Luciana's daughter from a previous marriage, 9-year-old

Alexia

.

Lisa Marie Presley

is putting her, um, deposition where her mouth is. A day after posting a vitriolic post on her blog attacking tabloid journalists,

The King

's 40-year-old daughter filed a lawsuit against the Daily Mail over a story in which the British tab claimed the singer's "expanding physique" was caused by an unhealthy diet. (The Mail has since reported that Presley is actually pregnant.)

Presley's suit, which was filed Friday at London's High Court, calls the story slanderous and degrading. In her blog entry, Presley said journos writing about her tummy bump had acted like "a pack of coyotes circling their prey whilst eerily howling with delight."

Things got contentious yesterday between

Kevin Federline

's lawyer,

Mark Vincent Kaplan

, and

Britney Spears

' attorney,

Stacy Phillips

.

Phillips complained to Los Angeles court commissioner

Scott Gordon

that her client had paid upward of $1 mil in court costs and should no longer be required to pick up K-Fed's tab. Phillips said K-Fed's lawyers, who claim they are owed $500K by Spears, were actually entitled to only about $150,000 to $175,000.

Kaplan countered by saying his billing was legitimate. As of yesterday afternoon, Gordon had yet to rule on the matter.

Leighton Meester

, the lovely ingenue who plays Blair Waldorf on

Gossip Girl

, appears on her first mag cover, ever, the spring '08 issue of Teen. (Awesome, or what?) Leighton, 21, said she likes her alter-ego, Blair, because she's "young and vulnerable, but also smart and feisty." But, she added, she dislikes Blair's "insecurities and self-doubt."

Leighton sounds terribly mature when asked how she would deal with real-life gossip in the tabs: "If people say negative things, I could care less. But I let it give me a boost of confidence if they're saying nice things."

Derek Jarman

-muse turned Hollywood sensation

Tilda Swinton

says she would

never

star in a Harry Potter movie. The

Female Perversions

star has nothing against Harry or the young wizard's creator,

J.K. Rowling

.

It's Hogwarts she loathes.

"I'm loath to say anything good about going to boarding school," the Oscar-winner told Out mag in an interview excerpted by Gawker.com.

Tilda said the Potter oeuvre "fetishizes boarding school for children."

Tilda, who was in the same school year as

Princess Diana

at the exclusive West Heath Girls' School in Sevenoaks, England, says she has fond memories of school. Her objections, she said, are philosophical.

If you ever doubted the former Haddonfield Symphony Orchestra's commitment to its new home on the Camden campus of Rutgers University, the Symphony in C (as it renamed itself) announced yesterday that its administration and box office were moving to One Market Street in Camden (the suite is 1C, appropriately). The orchestra of top conservatory students and graduates, led by

Rossen Milanov

, drew particularly civic-minded praise from

Carl Dranoff

, who developed the building on the Delaware waterfront. Even more appropriate, the building was once a home for RCA Victor recordings and hosted artists such as

Enrico Caruso

.

- David Patrick Stearns

Yesterday was a sad - a

devastating

- day for all the bow-tie-and-suspenders-wearing conservative cable news commentators in the nation. (We feel your pain,

Tucker Carlson

.)

After faithfully serving MSNBC for three years, Tucker has been relieved of his 6 p.m. show,

Tucker

, which will be replaced by

David Gregory

's

Race for the White House

. And this, even after Tucker's triumphant appearance on

Dancing With the Stars

.

But it's not all bleak: Word is MSNBC will trot out the pundit to do commentary as part of its election coverage.

Saturday's

Little Feat

show at the Keswick Theatre in Glenside, which had to be scrapped due to a power outage, has been rescheduled for tonight. Info:

» READ MORE: www.keswicktheatre.com

.

The National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences will honor TV deity

Regis Philbin

with a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Daytime Emmy Awards June 20 at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood. It'll be broadcast live on ABC.

Aerosmith

guitarist

Joe Perry

, who has had knee troubles for the last two years, will finally go under the knife (or the laser?) on March 18 to have it repaired. Perry scheduled the surgery when his knee gave out last weekend after his concert with

TAB the Band

, which features his sons,

Adrian Perry

and

Tony Perry

.