Ask Amy | He insisted wife keep their 'date'
Dear Amy: My wife and I are professional entertainers, which means that at least one of us is usually working weekends.
Dear Amy:
My wife and I are professional entertainers, which means that at least one of us is usually working weekends.
Recently, both of us had a Friday night off. My wife likes it when I "ask her out" by Wednesday for a weekend "date night," so we made plans to see a movie matinee with dinner to follow. On Thursday, a friend e-mailed her and asked her to join two other girlfriends, one of whom had just separated from her husband and the other who had ended a long relationship, at a "martini party" at one of their homes.
My wife, a recovering alcoholic for 20 years, got mad when I insisted that she decline the invitation and keep our date. She claims that she doesn't get to see her friends much socially, that I am being too controlling, and that she doesn't like to be told what to do. This put a damper on our "date." Am I off base with my expectations?
I don't think so. All the same, you didn't handle this very well. I assume that what really bothered you was not the fact that your wife wanted to make other plans, but her desire to spend time with newly single women friends for what might have become an evening of male-bashing and martinis. I wouldn't blame you for being bothered by this, but if you had been clearer about your own feelings, your wife might have been more understanding.
You should have used a little "honey" to get your wife to understand your point of view. By "honey," I mean: "Oh, honey, don't you think the right thing is to stick with our 'date night' this week?"