Kyler's lesson

I attended the viewing for 5-year-old Kyler VanNocker this past weekend, and it was overwhelming to see him in his pint-sized coffin, dressed in dinosaur pajamas, in a room decorated with all his favorite things - stickers, toys, bottles of colored water, countless photos of his parents and siblings.

As I told his dad, Paul, how very sorry and sad I was about Kyler's death, Paul refused to go there.

"There's no sadness," he said. "We will miss him. But no sadness today. Don't say 'sorry.' My family has felt more love in the last three years than I ever thought was possible. No sadness today. Just gratitude for his life."

Okay, gratitude, then. And awe at the strength and faith of Kyler's family and thanks for the community that supported them through Kyler's hard-fought battle against neuroblastoma.

On the back of Kyler's funeral card, the following words appear:

Someone said to me, "Everything happens for a reason," and I said, "There is no reason that can justify the death of a child."

Someone said to me, "God only gives you as much as you can handle," and I said, "I'm sure that my son who died had been given a bit more than he could handle."

Someone said to me, "It was God's will," and I said, "My God does not will children to die."

Someone said to me, "You son experienced more love in his short time on Earth than most people experience in a lifetime," and I said, "Now I think you are beginning to understand."