It's Friday, so stop pretending like you're actually contributing to society in some way and watch this College Humor sketch/Vitamin Water commercial that features a guy orating on a SEPTA subway car. The man enters the subway car and begins to launch what feels like it will be a plea for change from his fellow SEPTA riders. But, it turns out that things are going pretty well for him.
"This cup in my hand is not for change; I have plenty of my own. It is just simply because I finished my latte and I refuse to litter."
Simple. Hilarious. Vitamin Water.