VIDEO: Panhandler pranks SEPTA subway riders by bragging about his awesome life

It's Friday, so stop pretending like you're actually contributing to society in some way and watch this College Humor sketch/Vitamin Water commercial that features a guy orating on a SEPTA subway car. The man enters the subway car and begins to launch what feels like it will be a plea for change from his fellow SEPTA riders. But, it turns out that things are going pretty well for him.

"This cup in my hand is not for change; I have plenty of my own. It is just simply because I finished my latte and I refuse to litter."

Simple. Hilarious. Vitamin Water.