American hero buys $47.30 Starbucks drink


During the Great Depression, historian and author James Truslow Adams helped the citizens of the United States indoctrinate the concept of The American Dream. In his 1931 book, Epic of America, Adams wrote:

But there has been also the American dream, that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for every man, with opportunity for each according to his ability or achievement.

Eighty-two years later, a 27-year-old Washington man successfully realized this aesthetic with one gluttonous Starbucks order.

Beau Chevassus forever cemented his status as a true American treasure when he ordered what many believe to be the most expensive Starbucks order ever—a $47.30 "Quadriginoctuple Frap." He started off by ordering a venti Frappuccino, then added 48 shots of espresso, mocha drizzle, strawberry and mango flavoring, soy milk, protein powder, two bananas, and a whole bunch of other crap necessary ingredients. The only real issue is that it didn't have any Four Loko or Baconnaise.

As an apology for being a big pain in the ass to all of the Starbucks employees, he brought with him a peace offering in the form of a dozen donuts because this is America and if you don't like free donuts you can get the hell out.

In a moment that shames the plebeian visions exemplified in the works of Norman Rockwell, Chevassus didn't even pay for his drink because he ordered it on his 27th birthday and Starbucks is nice like that. This was the single instance our founding fathers had in mind when they defied tyrannical rule and declared their independence from Great Britain. No longer are we chained by the constraints of conventional coffee orders. No longer are we confined by the boundaries set forth by the venti cup.

If the Obama administration isn't already hard at work cannonizing Chevassus alongside Honey Boo Boo, Kim Kardashian and Guy Fieri, on a Mt. Rushmore of American heroes, then they're letting the terrorists win. [h/t LifeInc]