Everything you've ever wanted to know about Tinder

Tinder! It's the latest craze for all them youths trying to get it in find a suitable mate for a potential long-term, monogamous, loving relationship. Basically, it's a mobile app that's just like that computer program that Mark Zuckerberg got in trouble for in The Social Network.

In an effort to help everyone be less stupid, Amanda Lewis has compiled a glossary of Tinder terms over at The Awl. She lists "Key Terms" like "Instant Match and "Tagline," as well as more advanced words like "The Den of Tinder." She even includes some wonderful screenshots of some of the guys she's encountered on the app.

If you've never had the pleasure of having three too many glasses of whiskey and perusing the Internet in a desperate search for someone anyone who will validate your existence by using a swipe of their finger to say, "Meh, ain't bad," then I'd suggest you pop on over to The Awl and take a glimpse at how the other half lives.

Groucho

To reject an otherwise normal person because your mutual Facebook friend, that guy Brad who works with your brother, is too loud and wears cartoon-character ties.

High ROI guarantee, the

The more time you spend on Tinder, the more matches you'll get, the more dates you can arrange, the higher the chances you'll find someone else in the world who gives a shit about you. Or at the very least wants to bone. [The Awl]