'Clicking Bad' is the 'Breaking Bad' RPG the Internet has been waiting for


Back in the Land Before iPhones and FarmVille, high school students the world over used to stick it to The Man by turning instruments of learning into portable gaming devices. An entire generation of teenagers sat in class and used their expensive, TI-83 graphing calculators to play Tetris or Frogger instead of plotting points on a parabola or figuring out the cosecant of anything.

If you could find someone with one of those dinky little cables, you could even link calculators and play pong against a friend. Times was tough, man.

But, obviously, the calculator games to end all calculator games was DrugWars 2: International. DrugWars 2: International was an RPG that put the you in the role of small-time nobody. But, like Tony Montana before you, you could turn a couple of dimebags into an international cocaine ring.

Basically, you could borrow money from loan sharks, use that money to buy drugs, flip the product for enough to pay back the loan sharks and turn a profit, then use the profit to re-up and build an empire from the ground up. It's a lot of fun until a substitute calc teacher hears you discussing a massive heroin drop and reports you to the assistant principal and you're given two Saturday detentions. True story.

About a decade after the creation of DrugWars 2: International, the world was introduced to an ordinary high school chemistry teach who had been diagnosed with cancer and found himself in a financial and existential crisis. Now, because the Internet is a wonderful, wonderful place, all that's old is new again with Clicking Bad.

Clicking Bad is the modern, Internet hosted version of DrugWars 2: International based on the exploits of Breaking Bad's Walter White. Instead of loan sharks and cocaine, you're in Heisenberg's signature Clarks Wallabees, strictly dealing with meth. This time around, you're dealing with manufacturing and distribution. You're also covering your ass by paying sleazy lawyers and buying off DEA agents.

Eventually, when you become a meth bawse on the scale of Heisenberg himself, you can upgrade your facilities by purchasing a Moonlab Alpha base, enabling you to cook lightyears away from the DEA's jurisdiction. You can also strike up a deal with the dictator of an impoverished country to ensure that your distribution keeps up the pace and goes unchecked.

The game is as addicting as Heisenberg's sweet blue meth is reported to be, so be careful if you're playing at work. One second you're skipping lunch to upgrade to platinum burners in an underground laboratory and the next you're missing your train because you need to buy off a crooked Senator and holy sh** how is it 7:34 p.m. already.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy-out a rival cartel and secure diplomatic immunity for myself. [Clicking Bad]