You know what really sucks? Being Chris Brown. While you're busy living your life—commuting, working at a job that you probably don't love, commuting again, not getting bottle service at exclusive Manhattan clubs on weeknights and getting into fights (note that "fights" is plural) with other musicians—he's living a version of hell you can't even fathom.
The Los Angeles Times has the full report about L.A.'s D.A. alleging that Brown never completed his court-ordered community service, but Gawker's Caity Weaver broke it down into bullets because time is money.
Brown responded by taking to Instagram to
continue his insufferabilty campaign lament the report and else that's going on in his life.
"Im a human being and I honestly think I deserve respect im sick of being accused," his Insta-vent continued. "Im Tired yall just dont understand Ive been going through this shit since I was 19 years old..you cant sit here and tell me to calm down, when am I gonna get a positive outcome out of anything I do?"
"Just when everything seems to be going good, some new shit happens," Brown further laments. "A day in my shoes is a day in hell, believe it or not!"
See?! Don't you understand? He's a person. Just like you and me. Except he has millions and millions of dollars and a smokin' hot pop star girlfriend that didn't leave him after he hit her in the face. But—other than that—we're all just like him.
Oh, also, he has an attorney who's willing to go on the record saying that the Los Angeles County D.A.'s office, "has completely lost their minds."
So, everyone cancel your weekend plans because you're all invited to the Chris Brown pity party. I'll send out a sign-up list on Facebook so we don't have 20 people that show up with chips but no one that thinks to bring cups and napkins. I'll make guacamole.