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NFC Hierarchy/Obituary with Week 5 in the books

With Week 5 in the books, the two teams with the best record in the conference? The Eagles and Cowboys!

This week, we have our first death. Let's just get right to it.

Obituary

Dead: Rams

Aaaaaand we have our first obituary of the season. That would be the Rams, who aren't the worst team in the conference, but are by far the worst team in a dominant division.

The Rams haven't had a winning season since 2003. Since 2007, they have a winning percentage of 0.261, which to their credit, at least is better than the Phillies' 2014 team batting average.

It seems like every year the Rams are going to be that team that emerges as a contender. It never happens, and it won't until they get themselves a good quarterback who can stay healthy.

Hierarchy

15) Redskins

The Skins are basically hanging by a thread. They're three games behind the Eagles and Cowboys, and two games behind the Giants. They're also already 0-2 in the division, and 0-3 in the conference.

If the Skins are able to beat the Cardinals in Arizona this week with the Cards possibly starting third string rookie quarterback Logan Thomas, they'll have the following opponents thereafter: Titans, Cowboys, Vikings, Buccaneers. That's not exactly a murderers row. The Redskins can begin their climb back it in with a win this week. If not... Dead.

14) Buccaneers

Fact: If Mike Glennon's neck and head were a free-standing structure, it would be the third largest on Earth:

It's also not very architecturally sound.

13) Vikings

As we saw last Thursday night, there's really no reason to watch the Vikings with Christian Ponder at QB. However, with Teddy Bridgewater back at the helm, I'll upgrade their watchability to a 2/10.

12) Saints

The Saints are dead last in the NFL with a turnover differential of -8. They're also dead last in takeaways, with two. Rob Ryan is the most overrated coach in the NFL.

11) Bears

Jay Cutler pretty much has everything you would want in a QB, physically. He has good size (6'3, 225), a rocket arm, and good mobility. But for someone with as much talent as Cutler, it's crazy that he is in his ninth season and has only been to the playoffs once... and it's not as if he hasn't had good teams around him.

The loser of this week's Bears-Falcons game in Atlanta will be in a big early hole at 2-4.

10) Falcons

The Falcons have been terrible on the road this season. 0-3. They're giving up almost 450 yards per game on the road, including 558 to the freaking AP-less Vikings. They've also given up 31.6 points per game on the road.

9) Panthers

Are the Panthers good? The eye test says no, but they're 3-2, and very importantly, 3-0 in the NFC.

8) Giants

The line on the Eagles-Giants game has the Eagles favored by 2.5 at home. Factoring in the "home team gets three points" theory, the oddsmakers believe the Giants are marginally better than the Eagles at the moment. It's hard to blame them. Both the Eagles and Giants are beating weak opponents, but the Giants are doing it in convincing fashion, after rattling off three straight wins with an average margin of victory of 18 points.

7) Lions

If Alex Henery were never born, the Lions would probably be 4-1. But he was, soooooo...

6) Cowboys

The Cowboys' defense is dead last in the NFL, allowing 6.4 yards per play.

However...

Here's the season DeMarco Murray is having:

The Cowboys are running a lot... and effectively. In fact, they're fifth in the NFL in plays per drive on offense, with 6.25 plays per drive. What does a good run game and sustained drives accomplish? It keeps that bad defense off the field, and as a result, the Cowboys are winning, albeit against bad teams.

5) Eagles

Here's a comparison of the Eagles' offensive production from 2013 to 2014:

If the Eagles' special teams units weren't the best in the NFL, they sure as hell wouldn't be 4-1.

4) Cardinals

The Cardinals faced their first big test of the season when they went to Denver to take on Peyton Manning and the Broncos. And what happened? They were out-gained 568-215. This week, as noted above, they'll be starting third string rookie QB Logan Thomas.

3) 49ers

Here's a snapshot of the Niners' verrrrry basic stats this season:

That pretty much looks like what they've been the last few years. So maybe they're pretty much what they've always been, which is a legit Super Bowl contender?

2) Packers

The Packers didn't look right through the first three games of the season... and then they put up 80 points the last two weeks. I may have hammered them a little prematurely.

1) Seahawks

Russell Wilson is ridiculous.

Follow Jimmy on Twitter: @JimmyKempski