Umpire ruins game, screams at catcher

Yu Darvish was throwing a perfect game yesterday, until a questionable call from umpire Run Kulpa led to a walk.

Rangers catcher A.J. Pierzynski really lost his temper the ump, as we can see him clearly blowing his stack with almost zero provocation here.

Wait why is A.J. Pierzynski dressed like an umpire and having a child's amount of patience.

[@corkgaines]

TROUT FISHING

Mike Trout, the least goofy-looking of baseball's young phenom class, had some very least-goofy things to say about players who get caught using PEDs.

Trout and the Angels happened to be playing in New York, where I guess there's been some sort PED-related narrative recently, so naturally, the issue was brought up again.

Somebody had gotten to Trout by then, though, and he declined to comment, robbing the press of another dramatic Mike Trout sound byte.

Now who's the real monster, Mike Trout?!

KIDS WILL BE KIDS

I remember seeing this happen to a guy playing soccer once. Of course, the 'guy' was a nine-year-old and his mom spent the rest of the game shouting "It's okay honey!" from the sidelines while he cried.

It's been a busy week on the pitch for things that mostly happened when we were nine.

THE ROYAL TREATMENT

The Royals, who haven't had a winning season since 2003 or won their division since 1985, are on a historic tear, which explains why they're plastered all over the front page of ESPN.com.

It's like enough with the Kansas City Royals coverage already, geeze. It's embarrassing.

Wait.

Just another story on Mariano Rivera? Actually, no - that's literally a story on Rivera not playing.

Well, that makes sense – when I'm not demanding stories on who will replace the Yankees' closer, I'm screaming into the night for more information on what things Johnny Manziel has written his name on.

MOOD BOOSTER

Lastly, it's a pretty hideous day out there right now. Have a corgi puppy seeing its own reflection for the first time before you go.