Skip to content
Link copied to clipboard

Did Darth Hoodie, aka Bill Belichick, spook the Falcons?

It is now clear that Darth Hoodie has mastered the Jedi Mind Trick. He mesmerizes his opponents into making moronic moves.

How else to explain the strategies other teams have chosen late in their Super Bowl contests?

You can almost hear Bill Belichick, in his Sir Alec Guinness voice, intoning Sunday:

"Kyle. Kyle. You're on the 22, but you must call at least two more passing plays. You're the genius son of a genius coach. What could go wrong?"

Surely, Darrell Bevell and Pete Carroll heard that same voice two years prior, on the goal line:

"Darrell. Darrell. Don't go Beast Mode. Don't let Russell Wilson roll out. Don't throw a fade. Force a pass in the middle of the field to a lazy receiver at the goal line. Pete: Do not countermand this call. What could go wrong?"

And, while they'll never admit it, the Eagles' offensive brain trust obviously was guided by voices when the Birds plodded down the field, trailing by two scores, late in the fourth quarter of Super Bowl XXXIX.

"Donovan. Andy. Take. Your. Time. You'll get the ball back. What could go wrong?

What went wrong in Jacksonville is that, yes, Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid they got the ball back … at their own 4-yard line, with 46 seconds to play.

What went wrong in Arizona on second-and-goal from the Patriots' 1-yard line is that the Seahawks ignored power back Marshawn Lynch, called for a quick throw by Wilson to Ricardo Lockette … and Malcolm Butler stepped in for the winning interception.

And, of course, what went wrong Sunday night was Atlanta offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan threw twice when he should have run (which would have taken time off the clock or cost the Patriots timeouts), then kicked a routine field goal, which would have put the Falcons ahead by two scores. Instead, quarterback Matt Ryan got sacked, and then the Falcons were penalized for holding, which forced the Falcons to punt with 3:38 to play. The Pats got the ball back, easily scored a touchdown and a 2-point conversion, tied the game then won in overtime, all against an exhausted defense.

In the moment, disbelieving TV commentators disagreed with the inexplicable strategies. That disbelief was echoed by fans and media for years hence. What power could lead teams to gift the Lombardi Trophy year after year after year?

Well, as Darth Vader said: "Don't underestimate the Force."

Tom Coughlin and Eli Manning seem immune to telepathic influence; but then, for the Jedi Mind Trick to work, you first must have a mind to trick.

Apparently, Belichick first tried his powers the year before the Eagles' slow-play loss.

The Patriots' win over the Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII is best remembered for Janet Jackson's lightly jeweled anatomy but that wasn't the most significant malfunction that night. With the score tied and with 1:08 left in regulation, Panthers kicker John Kasay sent a kickoff out of bounds. That gave the Pats great field position, which they converted into the winning field goal.

Kasay had kicked off 91 times that season. This was his first kick out of bounds. Weird.

Then again, what he heard as he approached kickoff No. 92 probably sounded a lot like this:

"These aren't the droids you're looking for. … Move along."