Cliff Lee definitely worth some finger nail clippings, decides fan

Anybody else feel, like, completely exposed out here? (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

Likely opening day starter Cliff Lee is having a great old time at Spring Training, holding the baseball, throwing the baseball, being praised for his at the moment low profile ace status. 

Yes, it's good to be back in the sun again. Say, what's this? A letter from an adoring fan! Well, I don't mind if I

Hello, security? Yes, I was looking to bump things up to about "defcon 5;" that may be a bit much, but I'd certainly not be comfortable anywhere lower than "4." I assume that--

What? The Carpenter Complex doesn't do "defcon?" How do you--HOW DO YOU PLAN TO KEEP US SAFE?

Sorry, ha ha. Sorry. Everything's fine. Look, is it cool if I take a bat, like, out to the mound with me? Just to switch things up. Y'know, crafty southpaw that I am. Right? 

No, you're right. You're not really who I should ask about that.