Thursday, October 23, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Daddy just as good

A recent Woman’s Day magazine article said that moms have a hard time acknowledging that dads can be as good or better at parenting.

Daddy just as good

A recent Woman’s Day magazine article said that moms have a hard time acknowledging that dads can be as good or better at parenting.

The magazine goes on to quote Nancy Buck, a psychologist, as saying, “Women often come to motherhood with the mistaken belief that they’re naturally better at parenting.”

Yes, well.

I recognized growing up that my dad ceded much of the work of parenting to my mom, who was not shy herself about grabbing the reins.

As a result, for a long time I believed that women were better suited for the job.

But when I became a father, I knew that I could be as good at it as a woman. This isn’t to say that I was immediately comfortable with the role.

But I gradually learned that I could nurture, teach, snuggle, reprimand, praise, shop for Gerber's, etc., as well as the moms I knew.

I think it’s because I wanted it so much. In my case, parenting was delayed by numerous failed attempts at in vitro, followed by the knotty political problems raised by international adoption.

By the time I got my turn at bat, I was aching to get the job done. And with my mom’s early advice, I was able to become not just a sweep-in-at-the-end-of-the-day dad, but a full-on parent.

I’m not saying I do it right a lot of the time. But I do it with love and vigor every day, even on the non-custodial ones.

And I like to think that means something – something important.

 

Alfred Lubrano Inquirer Columnist
About this blog
A New York City native, Lubrano has written for newspapers since 1980. He's the author of a book, "Limbo: Blue-collar roots, white-collar dreams," and was a commentator for National Public Radio for 16 years. His work has appeared in various national magazines and anthologies. He lives with his daughter in South Jersey, and has worked for the Inquirer since 1995. Reach Alfred at alubrano@phillynews.com.

Alfred Lubrano Inquirer Columnist
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