JPMorgan pitches 16 stocks for a "weak" economy

What does Wall Street do when stocks head south? It finds new stories to sell to would-be investors. JPMorgan lists 16 brand-name, high-cash, low-debt, low-priced (even now!) stocks it says should outperform competitors in the "global weakness" of the next "12 to 18 months."

  JPMorgan's "Franchise 16" stocks, and its 48-page explainer, in brief:

  3M -- Post-It notes, and so much more.
  Baxter Int'l -- High hopes for its drug booster, Hylenex. 
  Colgate-Palmolive -- When the going gets rough, it shovels cash to shareholders.
  Computer Associates -- Is system maintenance still recession-resistant?
  Devon Energy -- Oil from shale hills, and the Gulf of Mexico|
  General Mills -- Great marketing minds can still push breakfast cereal at $4/lb.
  Gilead Sciences -- A lock on AIDS treatment
  Google -- Web ad dominance; and, finally, watching its costs.
  Hewlett-Packard -- Cutting costs, buying back shares
  McDonald's -- A "safe haven," with sandwiches priced for both the poor and "casual dining" refugees.
  Merck -- Januvia (diabetes) and Gardasil (cervical cancer) boost cash.
  Monsanto -- Still stomping DuPont in the crop-improvement business.
  Nucor -- Strong dollar plus cheap non-union workers equals more demand for steel exports.
  Philip Morris -- Because foreigners still smoke American.
  Union Pacific -- Because big railroads have shippers at their mercy, especially when diesel is high.
  Visa -- Until they take away our cards!