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This bank deals in cold, hard cheese

Thieves made off with the bank's hard-cheese reserves, but the cops caught them before they could grate it

Fiscal fundamentalists tell me Federal Reserve dollars are doomed, and gold is the only reliable base for a free-market currency. But maybe any hard commodity will do: A Parma, Italy-based bank, 600-branch Credito Emiliano SpA, accepts Parmesan cheese as loan collateral.

Thousands of tons of registered 80-pound $500 cheese wheels lie in the bank's climate-controlled vaults as security for loans to farmers and food businesses. Thieves grabbed a quarter-million dollars' worth of cheeses from a Credito warehouse last winter. But Italian police caught them before they could grate it, reports Bloomberg News here.