Yes, it's humiliating. We were asked to send in a list of questions for Borat to answer, and Borat blew us off.
Technically, he kept missing his deadline, says Inquirer film critic Carrie Rickey, who prepared straight-man prompts for the fictional Kazakhstani journalist played by Sacha Baron Cohen to answer in time for last Friday's opening of his mockumentary Borat!: The Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.
Cohen was not doing interviews. He was only answering e-mails as Borat.
But Borat turned out to be over-booked. Something about having to do Conan O'Brien, his flak explained.
So, I thought, maybe, since you guys are pretty clever, why don't you answer them????? Some or all. As Borat, of course. You probably don't even have to have seen the movie to be good at it.
The writer of the funniest answers - Carrie will be the judge - wins a three-year-old female yak, budget cuts permitting. (My wife just read that. "There is no yak," she said, skeptically.) Here goes:
We read that Kyrgystan, the country bordering yours, is the Switzerland of Central Asia. Is Kazakhstan Malibu on the Caspian?
You have many nomads in Kazakhstan. Do they need real estate brokers?
How is television news in your nation different from that in the United States?
How do you get chickens in suitcase past the TSA inspectors?
Youve traveled across the United States. Which state is most like the Republic of Kazakhstan? Why?
In your documentary you say that your countrys major problems are "economic, social and the Jew." What are the United States major problems?
Would Mel Gibsons cultural views about Jews would make him a viable political candidate in Kazazhstan? Could he beat Nursultan Nazarbayev? Could Arnold Schwarzenegger? Pamela Anderson?
For a Kazakhstani, what are Pamela Andersons greatest assets?
Is it true that your nations most popular television show is "Kazakhstans Next Top Prostitute"? What is second-most popular show?
In your nation you drive a horse-drawn automobile. Who is the manufacturer and what is the model name?
In your documentary we see you washing your laundry in Central Park lake. Is cleaner than Caspian?
Does Kazakhstani humor travel to America? Does American humor travel to Kazakhstan?
What is your favorite kind of sexy time?
What hair products do you use?
Whats on your iPod?
Whats are the main differences between American and Kazakhistani plumbing?
Is true that you are in a program for addiction?
Do you support Americas war in Iraq?
Caviar or fishsticks? Why?
Need inspiration? Maybe this guy can help.