Love is a Many Gendered Thing


At the risk of alienating absolutely everyone, here is my list of why, if we are going to recognize same sex marriage we should also consider legalizing incestuous and polygamous relationships which are still verboten but, hey, with an evolving consciousness about how and why we love, might one day be acceptable:

The pros for incest:

(1) It's really hard to find someone you like, and who knows you better than your own family (cuts out the E Harmony Middle Man)

(2) You can all chip in on the wedding gifts and save a lot of money;

(3) You won't need to expend too much money on travel expenses for the holidays;

(4) You won't ever wonder "who's the father?

(5) You won't have to fight over whether to take your husband's last name

(6) You'll never have problems with your in-laws;

(7) You can save on greeting cards (as in, Happy Birthday Mom, Dad, Uncle, Aunt, Grandad, etc.)

(8) You won't have that awkward "meeting the parents for the first time" experience;

(9) You can probably get an annulment from the Catholic church fairly quickly if things don't work out;

(10) You'll never have to listen to your spouse talking about those boring childhood memories since you shared them.

The pros for polygamy:

(1) You’ll never have to argue about whose stuck doing the dishes;

(2) You can legitimately say “don’t blame me, I didn’t raise him,”

(3) You have your own built-in carpool;

(4) You’ll save on babysitter expenses;

(5) You might spend an entire decade without having to go to Parent-Teacher meetings;

(6) You can tire a kid out by forcing him to go ask his father for permission (by which time he might simply give up)

(7) You can get your own reality show;

(8) You can economize on the college fund;

(9) You never have to feel guilty saying “not tonight dear;”

(10) The odds that the toilet seat remains up are significantly reduced.