Finally, some good news for Team Catholic: we beat the Scientologists for Katie Holme’s affection! According to recent news reports, the more statuesque half of TomKat has just registered at St. Francis Xavier parish in Manhattan. This would give some credence to the suggestions that one of the reasons fair Katie decided to go rogue on Maverick was because she just couldn’t take being surrounded by glassy-eyed acolytes of the Science Fiction Tabernacle.
Of course, the official talking heads deny it. A joint statement issued by the couple’s lawyers emphasized that Tom and Katie wanted to ‘respect’ their ‘respective’ beliefs. Somehow, though, the civility of those sentiments is a little hard to swallow, especially when you think of how deeply involved Cruise has been in the Scientology culture. He is to L. Ron Hubbard’s boutique religion what John the Baptist was to Catholicism: loud, proud and a bit daft. Had there been sofas lining the banks of the River Jordan, it is quite possible that St. John might have jumped on one of them. As for Tom, we know what he’s capable of when excited.
As far as Katie, she never made a secret of her continued interest in Catholicism, talking about it in articles and leading everyone to believe that she hadn’t abandoned all of the tribal traditions even as she dipped some manicured toes into the scient-illogical waters. Like Nicole Kidman before her, who famously said once a Catholic, always a Catholic, Katie refused to be fully absorbed into the faith shared by rich, toothy movie stars. The young lady from Ohio was not a willing food source for the Hollywood amoeba.
Now, it may sound like I’m gloating a bit. I actually am. That’s not because I have any particular animus against Scientology, a religion that seems more like a spiritual boot camp than a legitimate faith. Who am I to question the relative virtues of another person’s beliefs, particularly since my own house is not exactly in the best order these days. What with Grand Jury indictments, outraged nuns and Alec Baldwin’s most recent marriage in a church (when I think Catholic values, I immediately think “Alec Baldwin”) we have some major problems to deal with.