Boxers vs. Briefs

O.J. Simpson had the bloody glove and defense lawyer Johnnie Cochran's famous challenge to the jury: "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

In the ongoing sexual assault trial of Catholic priest Andrew McCormick, the Philadelphia Common Pleas Court jury of nine women and three women is now pondering "the tighty whitey defense."

McCormick, 57, a 32-year veteran priest in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, is accused of sexually assaulting a 10-year-old altar boy in 1997 after he allegedly invited the boy to his private rooms on the second floor of the rectory at the St. John Cantius parish in Bridesburg.

The now-26-year-old accuser could not remember the month of the alleged assault but he did remember a crucial detail: sitting on the edge of McCormick's bed as the priest, standing before him, took off his 32-button cassock revealing blue-plaid boxer shorts.

Fast forward a week to the defense witnesses in the trial, specifically Mark Pasternak, the maintenance man who worked full-time at the St. John Cantius church, school and rectory from 1990 to 2002. Pasternak said he regularly worked in the rectory basement, which was also the location of the laundry where the housekeeper washed the clothes of McCormick and two other priests living in the rectory.

Pasternak testified that he clearly remembered the table in the basement where the priests' clean clothing was stacked in neat piles identified by name. No boxers, no blue-plaids, Pasternak recalled, just three piles of what he called "tighty whiteys."

Pasternak was followed to the witness stand by the priest's 87-year-old mother, Irene Barbara McCormick, who testified that "for most of his life she bought his underwear, always on "Russian Christmas" – the Orthodox Christmas celebrated about a week after Dec. 25 – and always "white briefs."

In his closing argument to the jury Thursday, defense attorney William J. Brennan Jr. sheepishly admitted that he is frequently surprised at the unexpected evidence on which a trial can turn.

Brennan suggested that Pasternak's and Mrs. McCormick's testimony highlighted an inconsistency in the accuser's testimony "that might indicate reasonable doubt."

Assistant District Attorney Kristen Kemp called Brennan's argument ridiculous and a distraction: "to put his 87-year-old mother up to imply that he had no access to underwear."

Kemp said that at the time of the alleged assault, McCormick was 41 years old and perfectly capable of buying any underwear he wanted.

Will Father McCormick's tighty whiteys turn out to be the equivalent of O.J.'s bloody glove?

The jury, which deliberated three hours Thursday without reaching a verdict, gets back to work on Friday morning.