If someone had told you the Buffalo Bills would fire their offensive coordinator one week before the start of the regular season, I know you would have thought old friend Terrell Owens would have something to do with it.

That's wasn't the case when the Bills cut loose Turk Schonert (if the Turk cuts the players, who cuts the Turk?) over the weekend.

Now, admittedly, the Bills did fail to score a touchdown in five preseason games, and that's difficult to do, but the word is that the offensive woes didn't worry head coach Dick Jauron as much as they worried owner Ralph Wilson Jr., who ordered the firing.

All of this has taken place with Terrell on the sidelines with a bad toe. Owens told his Twitter public he expects to be ready for the season opener and dished out a reminder from Proverbs that from the Lord's mouth comes knowledge and understanding, which puts the Lord at least two ahead of T.O.

This is a reminder that with all the uncertainty surrounding the Eagles as they head toward the regular season, there are some real train wrecks out there in the NFL. Be glad your team isn't one of them.

Schonert, who didn't apparently take the firing well, told a Buffalo television station that he was let go because the offense "wasn't simple enough" for Jauron. Schonert liked to go no-huddle and liked to throw in a lot of misdirection and stuff, but nothing all that radical.

It was like Emperor Joseph telling Mozart that the new composition he ordered was very nice but had "too many notes. Just take out a few and it will be perfect."

Well, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the idea.

Alex Van Pelt, the quarterbacks coach elevated to the coordinator's role was reported to be "nervous" about the promotion (no kidding), but does have the support of quarterback Trent Edwards. Of course, it would be a lot better to have the support of, say, Peyton Manning or Drew Brees or someone. But Edwards is what they have and the next crisis will arrive -- set your watches -- when he can't get the ball to Owens.

Can't wait. The problems of other teams are always more entertaining than the problems of your own.