Speaking out against a hate crime by using hate speech? That's exceptional, America!

The presidential field for 2016 -- especially on the Republican side -- continues to amaze. There seriously could be 20 people in this thing, including a three-term governor of the third-largest state in the nation who's polling at less than 1 percent. It's all probably a grand conspiracy to get Jeb! Bush the nomination, but we'll discuss that some other time. Today, I want to talk about how we can winnow the field down to a manageable 17 or so. (And don't worry, we'll get to the Democrats.)

Here's my idea: Let's just #Disqualify a candidate when he and she says something beyond stupid. OK, I realize we might be down to three by next week...I mean, Trump's already out of the picture, right? This afternoon, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham took himself out of the race..at least in our sane (and thus fictional) world. He took to the floor of the Senate today to denounce mass murderer Dylann Roof and his hate crime against nine of Graham's constituents, and managed to utter a hate slur against 1 billion or so people:

"I don't know how you can sit with somebody for an hour in a church and pray with them and get up and shoot them. That's Mideast hate," said Graham, referring to the Middle East. "That's something I didn't think we had here, but apparently we do."

Like any slur, plug in your favorite ethnic group -- or your own -- to see how that sounds. Of course the idea that some racial or ethnic group has its own special brand of hate makes them less than human, which leads to all other abuses (like, say, a completely unnecessary war). That kind of narrow-minded language might help Graham with a few likewise-small-minded voters, but it won't get him to the White House. He's #Disqualified.