Breaking news: American flags hold news conference

For some weird reason they decided to use Herman Cain in the foreground.

OK, I actually didn't watch the Cain news conference, because it was MUCH more entertaining to follow it through Twitter. Apparently he blamed some of his sexual harassment woes on what he called "the Democratic machine" (you mean...Bob Brady?)

That sounds right. Since the Democratic machine has been able to pretend that a Kenyan child was an American citizen for 50 YEARS in order to make him president, it makes perfect sense that they could also plant a scandal some 15 years ago aboout an obscure restaurant lobbyist and ex-pizza CEO to make sure he DOESN't become president.

Piece of cake. Or pizza.

Or maybe Cain is toast.