Also classified as torture

Watching the Phillies try to hit a baseball.

Just as everyone predicted.

Between the Phillies, the 76ers, and the Union (and just wait for the Flyers to do their part), I can't bring myself to warch or enjoy sports anymore. Last night, instead of catching "SportsCemter" like a normal 50-something all-American male, I stayed up until 3 a.m. watching "Bridesmaids," which had more entertainment in 90 minutes than the last two months of all Philadelphia sports combined. Maybe next I'll take up gardening, or write the Mediocre American Novel. Who knows what I can accomplish -- now that Philly's woeful teams are liberating me!

Working on actual news so stay tuned!