Parents must hope children know peril of driving drunk

By Steve Ferry

I graduated from high school in the first week of June 1974. It was a time to move on, say goodbye to most of my classmates, and maybe ponder where we all would be in 25 years. Some friendships would continue, but for the most part this would be the parting of the ways.

Twelve days later, however, all of us were reunited. We buried two classmates killed in a car accident.

With all that we had learned during four years in high school, it was this tragedy that stayed with many of us. We had learned the hard way that drinking and driving don't mix, and never will. Someone is killed in an alcohol-related motor vehicle crash every 31 minutes and someone is injured in one of these accidents every two minutes, according to the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration.

It was probably the first time I really understood my parents' fears when I borrowed the car or was driven to the mall by a friend. The streets weren't the safest of places, especially for those in cars. Now, it's my turn to worry.

April, May and June are prime time for high school proms. Lots of money is spent on gowns, tuxedo rentals and flowers - as well as the exorbitant price of prom tickets and the carriages that transport all the Cinderellas to the ball. Hair appointments are scheduled around dress fittings, shoe shopping, pedicures, and locations where pictures can be taken for the big event.

Yet, death overshadows these happy times for some. Traffic deaths among teens during typical prom season weekends (March 1 to May 31) are higher than at any other time of the year, says the Pennsylvania chapter of SADD.

In 2003, for example, more than half of all fatal car crashes on typical prom weekends involved alcohol, the organization said.

I'm so excited for my middle daughter, Arielle, as she and her friends from Cardinal Dougherty High School coordinate their June post-prom getaways and discuss transportation options. Still, I'll be a little on edge from the time her gilded foot hits the pavement until her date returns her to the safe confines of our home.

Will they be safe, I'll wonder, thinking back to what I experienced as a new graduate? I don't think this is a control issue on my part as much as it is insecurity.

It's the seemingly unending statistics that have me - and thousands of other parents - troubled. In 2006, drivers ages 15 to 17 were involved in about 974,000 crashes, injuring 406,427 people and killing 2,541 others, according to analysis conducted for AAA by the Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation. It makes me think of the small but very noticeable shrines erected to someone's memory that you see along highways.

So, what's a parent to do?

Any answer must be rooted in hope. It's too late to start educating your children now, but you hope they paid attention when this was discussed at home or in school.

A parent's homework is to hope and pray and trust the judgment of your teenager. Understand that this will automatically promote a rush of memories: when you let go of your toddler's hand as she took her first wobbly steps; when you released the bicycle and watched your son pedal away from your protective arms; when you watched your teens all dressed up walk out the door, straddling the fence between childhood and young adulthood.

A parent's job is one that we take without bargaining for a higher salary. We don't discuss the perks, because who can put a price on a loving smile? We don't mind working around the clock because we don't want to miss anything.

Yes, we are nosy, grouchy and intrusive - and those are our good qualities - but we're the people who will always be there for our kids. And that's why we worry. We can tell them to be careful, to be safe, and, most of all, to enjoy themselves.