Mister Mann Frisby
lives and writes in Philadelphia
When the rapper Nelly said "it's getting hot in here," who knew he was talking about the sex organs of his young fans?
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention dropped a bomb on the nation this month that is hotter than a laboratory swab dripping with samples of chlamydia and herpes.
If that made you squirm, it should have.
All of our stomachs should be turning at the thought of our daughters, nieces and students being exposed to sexually transmitted diseases that could kill them. According to a CDC study, one in every four girls between the ages of 14 and 19 has an STD. Shockingly, nearly half - 48 percent - of the African American teens are infected, the study found. The culprits of the study were human papillomavirus (HPV), which can cause cervical cancer; chlamydia; trichomoniasis; and genital herpes.
Are we failing our young people in regards to sex education? Or is it that the most sexually educated generation of all time just chooses to be loose and reckless?
"I see a lot of girls who are 14 and 15 years old messing with guys who are in their 20s," said Devenie Young, 18, a senior at Overbrook High School. "These guys have way more experience and they manipulate them into having unprotected sex by saying if you love me you'll do it."
Young, an aspiring singer, said that her mother started talking to her about sex a few years ago. Those conversations educated Young and braced her for what was to come.
"Teachers talk to us about this stuff every now and then, but if my mother didn't talk to me about it, I'd be lost," she said. "They can talk about it in school, but if no one in your house is instilling it in you, it won't be as effective as when your mom tells you."
To start, we are giving our young people way too much credit. We assume that they know more than they do. If you haven't personally told your son or daughter that HIV and AIDS are deadly, then don't assume they learned it in school or on the Internet.
As a track coach and mentor to young men in the same age category as the CDC study, I have seen many misinformed, yet very sexually active teenagers. One young man, who had at least four years of sex under his belt, argued me tooth and nail that herpes was not a permanent condition. He was adamant that there was a pill that could be taken to make it go away for good. I assured him on the spot that he was mistaken and that we could never share a Gatorade.
In a separate incident, I recall taking a phone call from a youth who I could tell was in a great deal of pain. He went to the doctor's office early one Monday morning after enduring a burning sensation in his favorite body part over the weekend. He said he almost fainted as the doctor twisted a long swab into his urethra to get a sample.
Still squirming? You should be.
He did have an STD. Thank God it wasn't "the monster."
"I think the biggest problem is morality, because when you take God out of schools and out of the lives of these girls, this is what you get," said Nichole Govan, 34, a caseworker with the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services. "Back in the day, girls were ashamed to be having sex, and now it's the popular thing to do. They're starting at 11 and 12 years old because no one is promoting abstinence to them."
As adults we must lead by example, she said.
"How can you tell your teenage daughters not to have sex if they see you bringing different men into the home on a regular basis?" Govan said. "Mothers need to be better examples and stop letting rappers and movie stars be their [daughters'] role models."
I agree that parents should be the primary role models in a teenager's life, but wouldn't it be awesome if your daughter's favorite rapper or singer was on the same page as you every now and then?
At 13 years old, I learned what I needed to know from listening to a safe-sex KRS-1 song called "Jimmy." And when the wonderful day came for Jimmy to make his debut, you can best believe he was fully covered.
In a perfect world, our daughters and nieces would be abstinent until they were married. In the real world, we must stress to these young men and women the importance of never letting their guards down as it relates to safe-sex practices.
Recently, a young man told me that he always wore condoms when he had casual sex. However, he said that when he found a girlfriend he was going to toss his Trojans in the wind.
I told him bluntly that the young lady whom you meet next summer and fall in love with is somewhere at this very moment catching a disease. I explained to him that just because you give someone the title of girlfriend does not mean she didn't come into your life already infected. He took a long pause and then said: "I didn't think about it that way."
Exactly.