Sideshow: Sheen laughed so hard, he thought he'd . . . die?

Charlie Sheen

left a Lalaland hospital Thursday night, hours after he was admitted for a mystery ailment. Celeb show

Extra

says the embattled

Two and a Half Men

star suffered from "abdominal pain" stemming from a hernia injury exacerbated when Sheen began laughing hard at his TV.

Why was he so merry? Porn star Kacey Jordan tells TMZ that Charlie's chuckles came at the end of a 36-hour cocaine binge. The report has not been confirmed.

Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks

has filed a $1 trillion (we mean

trillion

) suit claiming

Sean "Diddy" Combs

was behind the Sept. 11 attacks. The Los Angeles woman also claims he is the father of her 23-year-old son and that $900 billion of the money she seeks is for child support. A hearing has been set for Monday.

Bristol Palin

may have a new job: A Phoenix, Ariz., radio station wants her to cohost its morning program.

But Sarah Palin's beloved daughter also received a rejection: The 20-year-old single mother has been uninvited from Washington University in St. Louis, where she was to give a talk about sexual abstinence. Students protested because their funds would be used to pay Bristol's fee.

Glee

star

Lea Michele

and popsters

Maroon 5

have been added to the Super Bowl musical roster, which includes the

Black Eyed Peas

. . . . Facebook genius

Mark Zuckerberg

will poke fun at himself on

Saturday Night Live

this weekend, says the New York Post. Perfect timing:

Jesse Eisenberg

, who plays him in

David Fincher

's Facebook soap opera, is hosting. . . .

Jeremy Piven

, 45, says he and his

So Undercover

costar,

Miley Cyrus

, 18, are, like, totally BFFs.