Sideshow: Paltrow tells a Cruise tale

Gwyneth Paltrow

's nukelar publicity blitzkrieg for her pic

Country Strong

caused more casualties this week, including taste and common decency. In a chat with

Rachael Ray

set to air Friday and excerpted by USA Today, Gwyn admits she enjoyed making out with Tinseltown's creepiest centaur,

Tom Cruise

.

"I got to make out with Tom" in Austin Powers 3, says Gwyn. "He was an amazing kisser!"

Gwyn, who reportedly based her Country Strong heroine, a drug-abusing fallen country star, on Britney Spears and Michael Jackson, said it wasn't so hard to get into character.

"You just get really drunk all the time. Which is awesome!" she says. "There's a Bloody Mary at 10 a.m., and keep it going all day!"

Gwyn, 38, is still a child, isn't she? Lucky her.

Here's a treat for you

Whiny Radical Socialist Armchair Rebel Feminists

who complain that the media objectifies people: It does!

FoxNews.com on Thursday released results of the 14th annual poll of the most wanted celeb body parts. Compiled by a pair of Beverly Hills plastic surgeons, the ranking is based on the bod parts most requested by plastic surgery victims - I mean, clients.

The overall bod category is dominated by Brazilian deity Gisele Bündchen. Jennifer Aniston, who is cited for her "girl-next-door" look, is in second place. Boy bod faves include Mark Wahlberg and Channing Tatum.

In a stunning upset, Scarlett Johansson toppled Angelina Jolie from the top of the fave lips list.

There were famous body parts aplenty Wednesday at the People's Choice Awards, especially vampire fangs.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

won four prizes, including favorite movie and fave gal thesp for

Kristen Stewart

. Alas,

Robert Pattinson

's eyes and

Taylor Lautner

's abs weren't good enough for voters: Fave boy actor went to

Johnny Depp

for

Alice in Wonderland

.

House

won for best TV show, fave drama actor (

Hugh Laurie

) and actress (

Lisa Edelstein

).

Eminem

and

Rihanna

won fave boy and girl singer, respectively. Info:

» READ MORE: www.peopleschoice.com

.

Hugh Hefner

continues to seduce the culture. NBC has agreed to back a pilot-sized taste of a drama "set in the frisky world of 1960s Playboy clubs," says Variety. (Think

Mad Men

with even more cleavage. If that's possible.)

The story (as opposed to the pics) follows a group of winsome women working as Playboy bunnies at the Chicago club. Sounds so very postfeminist: You know, chock-full of women who are sooo liberated they're happy to be exploited as sex toys.

Dostoyevsky

an

Taxi Driver

brooder turned

Little Fockers

yukster

Robert De Niro

was named Thursday as jury prez for the 64th annual Cannes Film Festival, set for May. He's the fifth American to be chosen as The Man in 10 years.

Made-for-TV Barbie doll Khloe Kardashian and hub Lamar Odom are so special, they're getting their own reality show on E! Entertainment. The imaginatively titled Khloe & Lamar will follow their domestic life and will feature permanent houseguest and Khloe bro Rob Kardashian. It'll be Khloe's third E! series.

Kathy Griffin has signed to star in four more stand-up comedy specials for Bravo. That'll bring her Bravo total to 12. The acid-tongued comic joked Thursday that she was "a little too nice" in her previous shows, vowing to "let the fur fly" this time.

Movie site Deadline.com reports that Robert Pattinson (him again!) has signed up to star in an adaptation of Don DeLillo's Cosmopolis, to be written and directed by Canadian Naked Lunch and Videodrome auteur David Cronenberg.

USA Today says Oprah has signed financial expert Suze Orman to host a new advice show, called Money Class, on O's freshly minted cable network OWN.

Variety says the

U.S. Record Biz

has been gripped by intense existential "torment." Record sales for 2010 were down 12.8 percent, while digital downloads had a pathetic 1 percent gain, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

Eminem, at least, is angst-free: He's the decade's best-selling artist, having moved 39.6 mil albums since 1999.

Nausea of a different kind struck

Damages

star

Glenn Close

when was told she has a brief cameo in one of the epithet-soaked nasty vids made by Navy Capt.

Owen Honors

, who on Tuesday was relieved of his command of the USS Enterprise. Close tells the Washington Post she was taped during a visit to the aircraft carrier more than four years ago.

"I am distraught that my image has been used to perpetuate something that I abhor," she says. "The cynical, unauthorized use of my image in this video is deeply offensive."

The Jan. 19 NFL Hall of Famer-packed "Inside the Game" discussion at the Wells Fargo Center has been canceled. Refunds are available at the original point of purchase.

Palace officials in London have revealed that in a radical break with tradition,

Kate Middleton

will

not

be transported to her wedding ceremony at Westminster Abbey on April 29 in the Glass Coach, a famed, 130-year-old ceremonial royal coach. She'll go by car. (Is this, like, impeachment or, um, abdication worthy?) The Palace does say Kate and

Prince William

will use a yet-to-be-named royal coach for the post-ceremony ride back to Buckingham Palace.