How to stop food-shaming our kids
Even though we may have good intentions to teach our kids about what foods are better for their health, these negative messages can lead them to feeling ashamed and guilty when eating “bad” foods.
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How many times have you said to your kids, “Are you really going to eat that?” or, “If you keep eating that, you are going to get fat?” This is food- shaming: criticizing someone for eating something that doesn’t match your definition of what food is "good.” We may have good intentions to teach our kids about what foods are better for their health, but these negative messages can lead them to feeling ashamed and guilty when eating “bad” foods.
Negative effects of food-shaming
Food-shaming is usually not deliberate. Parents and caregivers often don’t even think they are doing it. Unfortunately, food-shaming makes kids feel bad about eating certain foods, potentially leading to poor body image, low self-esteem, and risk for eating disorders. Balancing nutrition can be tricky, especially when kids are bombarded with negative messages about food from their peers and social media regarding fad diets, such as “clean” eating. Categorizing foods as “good” or “bad” can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food.
Tips to teach balance with eating
Eat all foods in moderation. Eating healthy is about learning to balance eating all foods in moderation. This means you need to let them choose how much they want to eat. Strict limitations on “bad” foods will only lead to sneaking and feeling bad about eating them.
Offer a variety of foods. Selective eating is common in kids, but if you cater to only what they will eat, they can become picky eaters. Expand the types of foods offered weekly by encouraging them to try new foods but remember, it can take multiple exposures to a new food for them to accept it and make it part of their everyday diet. Avoid punishment if they do not eat everything on their plate.
Practice what you preach. If you have a negative self-image and talk about how eating dessert will make you fat, your kids will pick up on these messages, leading to food-shaming and an unhealthy relationship with food as well. You need to be a model by eating a variety of foods and maintaining healthy exercise habits at home for your kids to behave the same way.
Avoid talking about weight. Having a positive body image regardless of one’s weight is an important concept for our kids. Focusing on living a healthy lifestyle rather than talking about weight can encourage them to feel more at ease with their bodies, leading to a better relationship with food.
Teach kids about portion sizes. Nutrient needs and amounts of food vary depending on your kid’s growth and activity level. Serving appropriate portion sizes at meals teaches them about how much food their body needs. Teaching mindful eating is essential to helping them understand what an appropriate amount of food is and helps avoid them feeling like they have to “clean their plate.”
We need to stop categorizing foods as “good” or “bad” and teach balanced eating by including all foods in moderation and avoiding food-shaming. Parents need to set boundaries and provide structured meals and snacks, but also need to establish healthy food habits and model them as well.
Megan Robinson is a registered dietitian at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.