In hard times, skip glass of wine: try water of Jesus

NOT LONG ago, a woman shared with me details of her adult son's messy life. I asked how she was coping with the unfolding drama of his sexual promiscuity and the havoc being brought about by his bad choices.

"Well, I've started drinking a glass of wine each evening," she said in a quiet tone. The look on her face suggested a hope that I'd approve of her coping mechanism.

Seeking to convey gentleness, I leaned toward her and said: "Do you realize you're much more like your son than different? He's numbing his pain with sexual insanity and you're numbing yours with wine!"

This brief interaction with a hurting and confused mother provided a metaphorical mirror for me of myself, and of so many women I've had the privilege of counseling.

We've all created ways of numbing ourselves, from sipping "glasses of wine" that briefly take away the pain of life and hurtful relationships. The truth is that many of us just never learned how to respond in a healthy way to emotional pain, which is inevitable. So, we stuff it, medicate it and ignore it, but we never succeed in outrunning it or truly getting rid of it. Broken hearts are inside all of us at one time or another. But we continue to sip from supposed sources of comfort.

Many women attempt to avoid and escape their own broken hearts by sipping from human 'glasses of wine.'

I'm an emotional-connection junkie. I love feeling good. But is feeling good bad? Of course not. But if feeling good - through emotional connections or sex - becomes what I crave and strive for, then it becomes a selfish and most likely destructive pursuit.

The sips and gulps we take of people may give us an emotional buzz, but they will not truly satisfy and heal a broken heart. People, sexuality and relationships are good gifts, but they do not provide a true heart-healing life!

Jesus Christ said a radical thing when He explained His job description, or why He came to this earth. Luke 4:18-20 shares several things that are powerfully liberating and truths we need to hear: He came to forgive sins. An extension of this is that He alone can truly heal our hearts and set us free from imprisoning habits, including relational patterns that control us in destructive ways.

He's better than our glasses of wine. He's living water that washes, cleanses, forgives, heals and restores. Why sip on wine when we can have Him? I'm not talking about religious rules, attendance at a Sunday service or membership in a church. I'm talking about a real relationship with Jesus.

Being a human being who delights in other human beings is being truly human! But to use people for the purpose of inebriating ourselves in an attempt to escape from the pain of life is deeply selfish.

Jesus frees us from ourselves, as we respond to His love and throw away our glasses of wine . . . and have our hearts healed and filled with Him. From this place, we can move out to delight in people and sexuality rather than drinking of them for dear life. *

Editor's note: Harvest USA is a ministry that seeks to help churches minister the Gospel to those who struggle with sex and sexuality. For more information, visit its Web site at www.harvest usa.org, or call 215-482-0111.