Steve and Mia: Should her prof come to dinner?

Q: I am a 45-year-old woman. I recently went back to school to start a new career.

One of my professors is a wonderful young man. I usually show up in his class a half-hour early to study. He is usually there at that time and we have had many personal conversations.

I am anxious about my grades. I told him that and he started emailing me my grades within three hours of taking the test. He never sends anything personal.

My husband seems to think this man has a crush on me. What I feel for this man is maternal, not romantic. I want to hook him up with my daughter. I know he is new to the area and has few friends.

I would like to invite him to Thanksgiving dinner. My problem is, I don't want to create a problem. The semester does not end until December.

I hate the idea of him eating alone on Thanksgiving, but think I should not do something like this until after the semester ends. What do you think?

Steve: A bar owner from my college days had one unbreakable rule for his bartenders: Never work both sides of the bar. That meant, don't drink there and don't date the customers.

It would be unwise for your professor to socialize with one of his students, no matter how innocent.

As for your daughter, trying to play matchmaker will ensure it will never happen. You can introduce them sometime, but do nothing more.

Mia: Girl, what's wrong with you? Don't invite trouble into your home. Get your mind off this man right now. If he's alone for the holiday, that's his problem - not yours. You should be worrying about your own man, not some stray. And let your daughter find her own guy.

I know you're new to college, but the only concern you should have is your final grade.

Q: My sister-in-law, Jackie, is a serial cheater and wound up divorced as a result of this. She now lives with a man named Glen.

My son got married recently and we had a party at my house. We were drinking and I made a juvenile joke. Glen asked whether I'd like to "have your a-- kicked" in my own home.

I asked him to repeat what he said. When he did, I calmly got up, went to my garage and set myself up with some weapons of equality.

When I returned, he was yelling. I invited him outside, if that was what he wanted to do, but he refused. I got everyone calmed down, and there was no fight.

But Jackie and Glen drink vodka like water, and I do not want to spend time with them. They want to have a family Christmas at Glen's house. Worse, my wife and Jackie have planned an out-of-town shopping trip, staying at Glen's house for the weekend.

I don't want my wife to go. Shopping is fine, but hanging out with cheaters, drinking - possibly with invited male friends - isn't. How can we work this out?

Mia: What kind of woman hangs out with a man who threatens to beat her husband in his own home? A selfish one. Get help now. She doesn't have your back, as the saying goes. Act quickly before anyone gets hurt.

Steve: You and the missus need a heart-to-heart about what is clearly a threat to your marriage. She can't change sisters, but she needs to limit her contact to safe situations that include you.