That's what Cubs starting righthander Carlos Zambrano told Paul Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune.

Zambrano vows that he will no longer exhibit bad behavior on the field. Seriously. He did.

No more arguing with umpires or beating water coolers with bats.

Of course, he said the same thing 5 years ago and couldn't get past Opening Day without being ejected for telling umpire Dale Scott that he needed glasses.

What's different this time around?

Well, it seems it took a 9-year-old to get the big leaguer to promise to stop acting like a 2-year-old.

Zambrano said his daughter saw one of his tantrums on TV last May and was appalled by her father's behavior.

"She asked me why I did that, and I apologized to her," Zambrano told the Tribune. "I want to change for her, because everything I do is on TV . . . My girls are big now and I have to be a good example for them. That's why I guarantee it."

We asked our own Vegas Vic what the odds are that Zambrano could behave this season.

"Off the board," Vic said yesterday. "No way in hell. If he makes it through the season without throwing a temper tantrum I will personally write a $1,000 check to his favorite charity."

Vic has made some bad bets in his time, but we don't think this is one of them.

Obama is a ladies man

President Obama - like the majority of us - doesn't have any Final Four teams remaining on his men's NCAA Tournament bracket.

The president got off to a slow start when two of his Final Four squads, Villanova and Kansas, were eliminated in the second round. On Saturday, the other two, Kentucky and Kansas State, bowed out.

In his women's bracket, however, three of his four Final Four teams are still alive, including Connecticut, which he picked to win the national championship.

- Tom Mahon