Q: I DRIVE a friend of mine home from work every night. One night, at a bar, I met a lady and we went home together. Later, I found out that she is my friend's older sister. They both live in the same house. Now I drop my friend off from work and sneak in the basement later to have sex with his sister.

My question is: Should I tell my friend about his sister and myself? I like his sister a lot, but my friend has anger problems, and I don't want him to get mad at me.

What to do?

Steve: Assuming she's 18 or older, she's free to date whomever she wants. He's sure to find out anyway, so I'd tell him and hope for the best.

Mia: Wrong, Steve. What's he's going to say, "Hey, I'm boinking your sister while you're asleep upstairs?" That's just begging for a beat-down.

If this man cares about the young lady and wants to do more than have sex with her, there's no reason to sneak around. Why not try to act aboveboard and take her out on an actual date?

Then maybe he can casually mention to his friend that he's going to take his sister to see a movie. Maybe the friend might want to come along. Act casual and open instead of sneaky and sleazy, and the friend may come around.

Q: I saw the question last week about the gay man with the bisexual boyfriend and thought I'd ask you about the problems I'm having with my own sex life.

I am gay and in a long-term relationship. My situation is that he doesn't like to have sex very often. He says he's always had a low sex drive. When we are intimate, it's great, but I need it at least once a week. He's given me permission to get my needs met with another man but I don't want to do that. I'm in love with him.

We're getting married this summer, and I think it should be just the two of us. But I need sex. He's OK with things the way they are. Help!

Mia: Hold the wedding plans! Before you send out a single invitation, you need to drag that guy of yours into counseling. If he's not satisfying you now, it's only going to get worse after the wedding.

Steve: Love without intimacy is like peanut butter without jelly. Lox without bagel. Cheesesteak without wit'. Of course, some people like those things "without," and there's nothing wrong with that. But if one of you isn't happy with this, Mia's right. It will only get more frustrating.

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.