Q: I am a married mother of two teenagers who's interested in becoming a sub with a clean, no-diseases guy who can also be discreet.

My husband and I are good, but he's lost his sex drive. This wouldn't be his thing anyway. How do I go about meeting a possible dom?

Steve: Ask guys what their name is. What difference does it make if he's a Dom or a Bob or a Joe? You should introduce him to your husband to make sure he approves of this arrangement, at the very least.

Mia: Holy 50 Shades of Grey! There's always fetlife.com, but before you sign up as a submissive ISO a dominant, you should talk to your old man and come clean about those X-rated desires of yours.

Tell him what you're about to do. Otherwise, what you're plotting is low-down.

Q: I may be having a midlife crisis, but that's not why I'm writing. My wife is a lazy cow who watches TV all day and is addicted to online shopping. Our house is a mess. All she'll do is cook and drive my kids around. She wears the same sweatpants every day. I've tried talking to her, but she is very nasty lately. I'd have left already, but I stay for my kids. They mean the world to me. My wife won't go to therapy. She says I'm the one with the problem. What should I do?

Mia: She sounds depressed. If your wife won't go to therapy with you, go without her. If you decide divorce is an option, seek legal counseling now to see what your options are in terms of getting full custody of your children.

Meanwhile, try not to argue in front of your children. Remember, that slob on the couch is their mom. Model good behavior by treating her with respect and compassion. She sounds like a woman in need of help.

Steve: Staying for the sake of the kids is never a good idea. If you're miserable they'll know it and be miserable, too.

Mia's right. Get some counseling and see if you can get your wife back on track.

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.