Hubby never told her about 2nd past marriage

DEAR ABBY: My husband recently passed away, and among his papers I discovered evidence of another previous marriage. It came as a shock because he had never told me.

Should I ask his family how long this previous marriage lasted, or should I let it go and be grateful for the good and loving husband he was during our 27 years together? He was a widower with no kids and I was a widow when we met. What do you think?

- Number Three in Arizona

DEAR NUMBER THREE: Your husband may have been divorced from wife No. 1, or the marriage could have been annulled and he didn't think it "counted." While I agree that you should be grateful for the 27 happy years you spent together, I can't ignore the fact that such an important piece of information was withheld from you. If you have questions and think the family can answer them, you are entitled to know.

DEAR ABBY: I'm being married next year and want to make sure I send written thank-you notes to everyone. I have been a diligent thank-you note writer for years.

Can you tell me what's the best way to get everyone's address? I have had problems with this in the past. I hate having to call and ask because the people always want to know why I want the information. Would it be OK to have as part of the wedding website a place where guests who attend can confirm their mailing address?

- Bride-to-Be in California

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: How do you plan to invite your guests to the wedding? Most brides send their invitations via U.S. mail, which requires the person's name, address and ZIP code on the envelope.

However, if you plan to issue your invitations online, then I see no reason you can't ask your guests to confirm their information on your wedding site. It wouldn't be a breach of etiquette.