Touchstone Pictures is using a desperate advertising plan (or scam) to sell tickets for

Primeval

, a horror flick opening today.

Ads for Primeval promise a search for "the most prolific serial killer in history," credited with more than 300 kills in a remote part of the world.

Wow, that sicko must be busy, and that place must be remote, since Court TV hasn't done a special yet.

Gorehounds should be licking their bloody chops for a chance to see this person in action.

However, the serial killer in Primeval isn't a person. It is an enormous crocodile chomping tourists and guides in South Africa. Dominic Purcell (TV's Prison Break) plays a television news producer on safari seeking a scoop.

Come to think of it: How does a crocodile qualify as a serial killer? Maybe he seeks only victims of a certain age or body type and stalks them with patterned precision. Does he leave taunting messages for hunters?

Inquiring minds want to know, but not badly enough to see this one.

Primeval, which was not previewed, is rated R and will open today at area theaters.