OK, this Justin Bieber thing, it's out of hand. Wednesday night, he was to perform outside the Oslo Opera House, part of his All Around the World TV thing. The result: crowd-control issues that made Beatlemania look like a Quaker meeting, young ladies by the thousands, running amok, arms akimbo, hair awry. Mulling a state of emergency, police begged J-Bieb, huddled in a secluded location, to sing early and calm the feminine vehemence. He did tweet that "u must all listen to the police," which, we're sure, did a lot of good. After Oslo, he'll bring chaos and fury to Paris, Milan, Verona, Madrid, London, Cologne, Berlin, Mexico City, New York City, and Toronto.? ...

New Hope band now a has-Ween?

The band Ween is breaking up — at least so Aaron Freeman (band name, Gene Ween) tells Rolling Stone. It's been a great run for the New Hope outfit, formed by high school chums Freeman and Mickey Melchiondo (band name, Dean Ween) in 1984. Their most recent album was La Cucaracha of 2007. Freeman was in rehab last year, and he's just released a solo album, the all-Rod-McKuen (really? really?) Marvelous Clouds. Melchiondo writes on Facebook that "it's news to me."

Zuckerberg TV!

Funny story: As the world knows, Facebook cofounder Mark Zuckerberg and new wife Priscilla Chan have been on kind of an extended pedestrian honeymoon, just a woman and her man enjoying this little plaything called the world. Well, a Chinese TV documentary on police and high-tech surveillance techniques included an unwitting (to him, and evidently to the filmmakers) appearance by our Mark and Priscilla. They're just boppin' down the street behind these ready-for-a-mess cops, Mark gazing at them with apparent joy. Sharp-eyed folks say the shot may have happened around March 27, because Mark and Priscilla are wearing the same clothes they were seen in while walking about Singapore that day. M-Zuck and P-Chan also were spotted recently in Italy, getting cash (how much, d'ya think?) out of an ATM. Making up for Facebook's disappointments post-IPO?

You could call it surgical chic

We here at "SideShow" are dedicated to serving celebs during all 15 minutes of their fame. Welcome, Ridiculously Photogenic Surgery Girl! Known only as Rachel, she's now world-famous. Rachel, who has congenital emphysema, had just had 60 percent of a lung removed at the Cleveland Clinic. Then she posted a pic of herself resting cutely in her hospital bed, and it went viral all over the Blurred Wild Web. She's very pretty, and if you were in the hospital, you might become friends. Who knows? She was even on Good Morning America, but still lacks a last name. Who needs a name when you're a meme?

We’ll watch the first episode at least

The very thought of VH1's hour-long summer show Hollywood Exes is making us laugh fit to bust. What a concept! The ex-wives of famous male celebs! You have Sheree Fletcher, ex of Will Smith! Mayte Garcia, ex of Prince! Jessica Canseco, ex of José! Nicole Murphy, ex of Eddie! Also on sometimes will be Dina Lohan, ex of Michael and mom of Lindsay. LiLo will not be appearing on the show.

Latin teachers kick butt, OK?

In a mondolicious upset, New England Latin teacher Madeline Miller, a first-time novelist, won the last-ever Orange Prize for women's fiction. She'll take home £30,000, or about $46,000. The U.K. competition is losing its sponsor, the telecom outfit Orange. Her book, The Song of Achilles, tells the Iliad from the POV of Achilles and Patroclus.

It’s raining a menu of smallish items

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, famed abs guy of TV's Jersey Shore, is going to be a superhero in a comic book. It is, unlike his adult sense of reality, in development. Sitch will be at Wizard World Comic Con, Aug. 9-12 in Chicago, to promote the comic. ... We regret to inform you that Ronnie Ortiz-Magro of Jersey Shore has released a recorded, um, recording. Titled "How the [indelicate word] We Gettin' Home?," it's a jeremiad against drunk driving, from one who knows. … Jessica Simpson is now (a) showing off baby Maxwell in public, that is, to People magazine, and (b) the latest spokesperson for Weight Watchers. She's said to have gained 60-plus pounds during her pregnancy. That's like Beyoncé, who told an audience at Revel in A.C. over the weekend she'd dropped 60 to get in shape for the show. … Matthew Fox (Lost) has had a checkered, as in lousy, month of May. Early in the month, he gets stopped on a DUI in Oregon, and now fellow Lost alum Dominic Monaghan tweets, out of the blue, that M-Fox "beats women. not isolated incidents.often." People are at a loss as to why Monaghan would do that. Matthew was accused by a lady bus driver of violent behavior, but no charges were filed. ... If you missed Michelle Obama's appearance on Jon Stewart's show Tuesday night on Comedy Central, well, you missed it. She has a new book out, American Grown, and Stew tried to get her to dish about Obama's reported pot usage as a young wayward. (Stew said it was like "the script of a Cheech and Chong movie.") The first lady said only that the prez was "like many young people" and took a different path when "he realized he could do more with his life."

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This article contains info from Inquirer wire services.