Mia: Don't you dare try to blame it all on your ex. You had unprotected sex with a known cheater and now she's pregnant. The baby could be yours or it could be the mailman's. This is why you need to think before you whip it out and have unprotected sex just because it feels good. Dumb, dumb move. All you can do is it to keep trying to contact the friend. Maybe send a text. Try writing your ex a letter. If you can get through to her, try to get her to stop drinking. The health of an unborn child is at stake.
Steve: It sounds like all avenues are blocked to you. All you can do is hope is she has a change of heart. But beware — you could be named as the father and that would make you financially responsible. If that happens, demand a paternity test. Maybe you can get on the Maury show.
Mia: That's one fantasy that's better left a fantasy. Too many things can go wrong. Don't do it, girlfriend!