After months of daily dispatches from New York and Vegas and L.A. detailing her various encounters and transgressions, sexual and alcoholic, comes the ultimate, not-exactly-unexpected report:

Britney Spears

is in rehab. Or about to check into rehab. Or has just checked out of rehab.

That's the word from the syndicated celeb show Extra, which says Brit, who has disappeared for four days - she was last seen flying from New York to Miami in a private jet with her two sons - is listening to friends who've pleaded with her to get help. Among them have been her ex, Justin Timberlake, who has reportedly been "beseeching her" (which must mean it's serious) to stop drinking.

Did Brit listen up? TMZ.com says Brit checked out from the Miami facility after just one day (it's supposed to be one day at a time, not just one day).

No official word from Brit's people.

Richie's not-so-rich day

Go by her substance-abuse history, and you'll see

Nicole Richie

is a troubled young woman. So it's sad to report that the 25-year-old unfortunate, who has no trade or learning, no craft or career (except a little TV show called

The Simple Life

), was charged yesterday by the L.A. County D.A.'s office with a misdemeanor DUI.

On Dec. 11, Nicole - who has experienced real traumatics in her off-and-on friendship with Paris Hilton - failed a sobriety test after being stopped going in the wrong direction (natch) on Route 134 in Burbank, Calif.

Reportedly Nicole admitted she had smoked weed and taken Vicodin before her drive, according to TMZ.com. She'll be arraigned Wednesday.

Where there's a will

Stunning, if not sadly ironic, revelations yesterday, as the contents of

Anna Nicole Smith

's will were made public: In the 2001 document, the former exotic dancer names her lover

Howard K. Stern

as the executor of the estate, and leaves everything to her son,

Daniel

- who died in September.

The will makes no mention of Dannielynn Hope, Smith's newborn. In fact, Smith went out of her way to bar any post-Daniel claimants to her estate.

"I have intentionally omitted to provide for my spouse and other heirs, including future spouses and children and other descendants now living and those hereafter born or adopted," Smith said in the will.

A lawyer for Smith's estranged ma, Virgie Arthur, called the document a "phantom will," saying it is not valid because it was not filed in court. (And it leaves Virgie nothing. . . .)

The law outfoxes Brown

Foxy in looks? Sure. Foxy in mien, manner and pose? Of course. Foxy in rhyme? Oh yeah.

But Foxy Brown is one fox who doesn't seem to be too canny or particularly vulpine about the law.

The "Firm Biz" rapper, who in October was gifted three years' probation and anger management classes for Fox-handling two New York manicurists over a $20 manicure, was arrested late Thursday night in Florida.

So where was she arrested? In a beauty supply store in the suburban hamlet of Pembroke Pines, where the cops say a "disturbance" took place. (While she was looking for EZ self-manicure kits?)

Ms. Foxy was detained overnight for battery and obstruction of justice and yesterday afternoon was anticipating release on $1,500 bond.

For one thing, I'm not gay

More than six months after he and

Renée Zellweger

split up, "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems" singer

Kenny Chesney

has decided to address queries about Renée's never-explicated decision to seek an annulment on the basis of "fraud."

Speaking to 60 Minutes for an episode to air tomorrow, Kenny says, first of all, his sexuality is no fraud.

"It's not true," he says of gossip he is a gay American. "The only fraud . . . was me thinking that I knew what it was like . . . to be married." (That clarifies everything.)

His "public humiliation," Kenny says, came when Renée mistakenly and naively chose annulment + fraud rather than divorce + irreconcilable differences. It was all just using the wrong equation, silly!

"I loved her, you know?" Kenny asks, rhetorically. "And it was real."

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com.

Inquirer wire services contributed to this column.