NEARLY TWO decades ago, one of our guilty TV pleasures was "My Two Dads," a silly sitcom starring
and Devon native
The show's premise: An orphaned teen (Keanan) lives with two men (Reiser and Evigan) because her recently deceased mother didn't know which one was her father.
If that show doesn't return in a reality format with Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead in the father roles and baby Dannielynn Smith as the daughter, then TV execs just aren't thinking.
Speaking of which, Howard K. and Larry are in talks about how to end this paternity mess with each side getting what he wants.
For Larry it seems to be custody. For Howard K. it seems to be cash.
TMZ.com sources say Howard K. has basically conceded that Larry is the daddy, which is why he has suddenly been allowed to spend time with Dannielynn.
And maybe feed her.
What Howard K. allegedly wants in return for dropping his paternity claim is the house Anna Nicole bought in the Bahamas (which, of course, was not the house they were living in) and the boat they went to Florida to buy when she died.
There's also talk that he wants a role as a guardian to Dannielynn and a (bank-)role managing Anna Nicole's estate.
Since Anna Nicole's assets would legally be passed on to Dannielynn, we're not sure how Howard K. can negotiate with Larry over them, but we advise Dannielynn to get a good lawyer.
* As for Anna Nicole's body, its fate was in the hands of three Florida appellate judges yesterday.
We sure hope they were wearing gloves.
The judges are considering a petition filed by Anna Nicole's estranged mother, Virgie Arthur, who challenged the trial court's decision last week that gave control of Anna Nicole's body to a court-appointed advocate for her infant daughter, Dannielynn.
The advocate, Richard Milstein, and the attorney for Howard K. had until yesterday afternoon to respond.
Milstein had said he would bury Anna Nicole in the Bahamas beside her son, Daniel.
Virgie wants her buried in Texas. She claims that Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin had no authority under Florida law to grant custody to the advocate, and that she is the "legally recognized person" to take the remains.
In an earlier filing, Milstein said that "every witness including Virgie testified that Anna Nicole expressed an interest in being buried in either California or the Bahamas" and as "a matter of undisputable law, Dannielynn is her mother's 'next of kin'; Arthur is not."
But Virgie's lawyer, Roberta G. Mandel, said, "This mother is a mother who deserves the right to bury her child."
We're no judges here at Tattle, but we believe you may forfeit that right when you don't see said child for 10 years.
Top swimmer in town for 'Pride'
Olympian Amanda Beard was in Philadelphia yesterday to bring some gold-medal glamour to the red-carpet celebrity premiere of "Pride."
The champion breaststroker was also here to talk up Speedo swimwear - in "Pride," Speedo went old school so the suits would accurately reflect the 1970s.
We spoke with Amanda at the Rittenhouse Hotel and she said Speedo actually does speed tests on its suits to determine the fastest fibers with the least drag. In a sport in which winning and losing can be determined by hundredths of a second, every tiny edge, be it mental or material, matters.
Speedo also helped Amanda gain babe status.
"Modeling for Speedo catalogs got me more comfortable in front of a camera and one job led to another," said Amanda, now as famous for her looks as for her strokes.
But that doesn't mean she sees herself as a sexed-up glam girl.
"I've gotten used to it," she said, "but I'm not like that. I'm always wearing jeans."
That is, when she's not in the pool. Amanda said she still trains five hours per day and although she turned 25 in October (she first won gold in 1996 as a 14-year-old) she plans on swimming in the 2008 Beijing Olympics.
Athlete, model, student, Amanda also recently made a PSA for Wild Aid, to help save sharks from being made into shark fin soup (the grisly process entails chopping off a shark's fin then throwing the bloody carcass back into the ocean to die).
Other Amanda Beard tidbits you can use on the bio-vid you make for YouTube when she takes to the pool in China:
* She met her boyfriend, a photographer, on a shoot for . . . Speedo.
* She now lives in Venice, Calif.
* You can purchase her beautiful, 4BR Tucson, Ariz., home for $879,000. (Pssst . . . she's looking to sell, lowball her.)
* She recently got her motorcycle license and is totally stoked about her new Ducati 695.
"It's really pretty," she said.
Foxy Brown (aka Inga Marchand) turned up in a Brooklyn church Monday to tell her side of how a Feb. 15 visit to a Florida beauty-supply store went awry and ended in her arrest.
Foxy, 27, said she was dragged half-naked out of the restroom and then picked on by police officers because she is black.
"I was exposed from the waist down on the toilet," she said Monday at Brown Memorial Baptist Church. "The only crime I'm guilty of is being a young black woman."
Police in Florida have said that Foxy is guilty of battery and resisting an officer.
Foxy said store owner Hayssam Ghoneim refused to let her finish going to the bathroom and dragged her out.
Daily News wire services contributed to this report.