Monday, August 3, 2015

NBA Draft Lottery: Who Should the Sixers Send?

0 comments

20120601_kdl_ah6_040

The NBA Draft Lottery is tomorrow. I am full of excitement. Best case: The Sixers get a top 3 pick. Worst case: We get to see what kind of Morey-esque maneuvering General Manager Excel Spreadsheet Sam Hinkie does with the 11th pick and two high second-rounders. Dance for me, Spreadsheet.

I'd been wondering who the Sixers would send to the Lottery for a while now and I'm just getting around to writing this article after Adam Aron already announced via twitter that he and Josh Harris would be the ones to represent the Sixers in what should really be a double-elimination Ping-Pong tournament. Well, that sucks. Not that I don't love me some Josh Harris (and Adam!), but it's not a flashy choice at a time when they could have taken the opportunity to get funky in their first Lotto as owners.

So I've got better choices for them to consider post-hoc and years to come.

More coverage
 
VOTE: Which 76ers move will prove to be more damaging?
 
Sixers' 2015 NBA Draft picks
 
Forum: Does Hinkie have 76ers on right track?
 
Buy 76ers jerseys, memorabilia, and other gear
 
Latest Sixers videos
Spencer Hawes

I know what you're thinking. Why have Spencer represent the Sixers when he will be here AT MOST one more season and hopefully not even that? Deliver an ultimatum. Spence, if you don't get us a top three pick, you become a free agent. If you do, here's $5 million extra. No downside.

This is legal and plausible and not to be questioned.

A TI-83 Calculator

For a few reasons. One, HINKIE NUMBERS BITCH. Two, the odds of the Sixers winning one of the three spots add up to 2.9%, so the calculator's totally on top of that. Three, you can spell BOOBS on it.

Doug Collins

Because there's no way Doug can not play the rookie the Sixers draft, since they won't have drafted him yet. It's the perfect plan! Plus, the self-aggrandizing quotes would be just delightful.

Tony DiLeo

Having a mostly personality-vacant person as the job-stripped Face of the Franchise tickles me.

And here are just a few other options:

  • Efthimios Rentzias
  • an orange
  • a first edition VHS of Clear and Present Danger
  • Lenny Dykstra
  • Vrnan Maxwall
  • Adam Aron's Twitter Account
  • Howard Eskin
  • double-sided tape
  • Madam Pomfrey via FaceTime from the hospital wing.
  • Helen the new Sixers mascot, who is just a well-put-together woman that's considering retirement from her middle-management job, but her oldest son is about to start college and she could really use the money because her husband is an electrician and work these days is spotty at best but he's hoping the summer will bring good things for them as a family because recently they had to rent out their shore house in Long Beach Island where they used to go every weekend with a family friend but ever since her and her husband got divorced, they've really lost touch with the exception of a birthday card or the occasional text. So she probably won't retire just yet.

NBA LOTTERY TOMORROW OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

SBNation
0 comments
We encourage respectful comments but reserve the right to delete anything that doesn't contribute to an engaging dialogue.
Help us moderate this thread by flagging comments that violate our guidelines.

Comment policy:

Philly.com comments are intended to be civil, friendly conversations. Please treat other participants with respect and in a way that you would want to be treated. You are responsible for what you say. And please, stay on topic. If you see an objectionable post, please report it to us using the "Report Abuse" option.

Please note that comments are monitored by Philly.com staff. We reserve the right at all times to remove any information or materials that are unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, obscene, vulgar, pornographic, profane, indecent or otherwise objectionable. Personal attacks, especially on other participants, are not permitted. We reserve the right to permanently block any user who violates these terms and conditions.

Additionally comments that are long, have multiple paragraph breaks, include code, or include hyperlinks may not be posted.

Read 0 comments
 
comments powered by Disqus
Latest Videos:
Also on Philly.com:
letter icon Newsletter