Morning Bytes: Madoff and the Mets, and a $60 million high school stadium

Sometimes sports is like one of those 3-D paintings that were so popular in the '90s. The closer you get, the fuzzier it looks.

This past week, amid the Chicken Little coverage of winter weather, these three sports-related developments raised plenty of questions:

1. Bernie Madoff influenced the Mets' financial decisions.

 There's always plenty of puzzlement surrounding the Mets. Who does Jose Reyes' hair? How'd they end up with a triple-A rotation? And will new manager Terry Collins have to stand on a box at news conferences?

But the Madoff news helped answer the biggest question of all: How can the National League's richest team have finished four games under .500, 18 games out, fourth in a five-team division?

According to the New York Times, Madoff, the Ponzi-schemer who destroyed more nest eggs than a ravenous squirrel, not only drained millions from owner Fred Wilpon's personal portfolio, but he also gave ownership financial tips.

"Fred? Bernie here. Look, it's time you extended Luis Castillo. How much? I'd suggest four years, $25 million. Sure, the kid's another Utley. Hey, gotta run. Ken Lay's on the other line."

Meet the Mets. Meet the Mets. Step right up and cheat the Mets.

 2. Texas high school to spend $60 million on football stadium.

 I'm sorry, but for all I'm able to comprehend about the place, Texas might as well be Tajikistan. The Lone Star State and I are on different frequencies. Hell, we're on different cable systems. I don't get the textbook-tampering, the caterwauling cowboy crooners, the boots or the Bushes.

But if there was one thing I thought I understood about Texas it was its universal disdain for government spending. How many times in the last year have we seen angry Texas lawmakers, angry Texas tea partiers, and angry average Texans carping about deficits and wasteful spending?

Well, apparently, while it's OK to cut off aid to the needy, football gets a pass.

With the state facing a $25 billion budget shortfall, with tens of thousands of teachers being laid off across Texas, the Allen School District in suburban Dallas is building a $60 million high school football field that news reports characterize as "a palace."

Even in this austere financial climate, an astonishing 63 percent of the voters in the district approved a $119 million bond issue to build a stadium, plus an auditorium and a service center.

Friday Night Fools all.

3. Bubba Watson wins San Diego tournament.

 If you're one of those who see golf as an elitist, country-club sport, answer me this:

How come an event sponsored by a company called Farmers was won by a golfer named Bubba from Bagdad, Fla., just one week before the Tour moved on to Arizona for the Waste Management Phoenix Open?

Super Sunday song for unhappy Eagles fans:

(To the tune of "Groovin' " by the Young Rascals.)

Boozin' . . . on a Sunday afternoon.

Boozin' . . . be at Lehigh very soon.

I'm not too happy watching Steelers-Packers.

So I'll just stuff my face with cheese and crackers.

And till the Eagles get there I'm content to be . . . "Boozin' . . . on the sofa 'cause I'm blue.

Doin' . . . shots of gin and Mountain Dew.

I'll watch the football and them gassy horses.

The pointless rumors from Jay Glazer's sources.

As long as Pittsburgh covers I'll endorse this . . ..

Boozin' . . ..on a Sunday afternoon.

NASCAR note of the week. In what has to qualify as the least surprising news since Charlie Sheen entered a rehab facility, bad-boy driver Tony Stewart was questioned by Australian police after he allegedly struck the co-owner of the Sydney Speedway in the face with his helmet.

Somebody should have seen that coming. NASCAR and Australia are as bad a mix as Shakespeare and Stallone. The spirits are too high Down Under and the beer too plentiful. Sprinkle in stock cars and Stewart and you've got a brew more volatile than a 32-ounce Foster's.

Rush week: Ratings for this season's installment of The Golf Channel's The Haney Project are higher than Bill Murray's handicap.

That's because Haney's pupil is Rush Limbaugh, who in plaid shorts and bursting-at-the-buttons golf shirt looks as if he'd be more at home floating above the Sonoran desert in a balloon fiesta.

Actually, great ratings on the Golf Channel are relative. The show actually attracts just 310,000 viewers an episode. Still, that's better than Haney's sessions with Ray Romano and Charles Barkley managed.

Politics aside, the waddling, cigar-chomping, constantly bragging Limbaugh is one obnoxious hombre. It would be no surprise if it turned out many of those viewers tuned in hoping to see Haney club him with a 56-degree sand wedge.

And the 2012 format is . . . Will the NHL ever come up with a permanent All-Star Game format? By my count, the event has paired at least five different sets of opponents over the years.

There was the Stanley Cup champion vs. All-Stars, East vs. West, Wales vs. Campbell, North American vs. World and, in the latest iteration of idiocy, Lidstrom vs. Staal.

What's next? Man vs. Beast? Bachelors vs. Marrieds? Full Dentures vs. Crowns?