Gonzo: Unworthy of a crown

While wondering how long until umpire Scott Barry gets the reality show he obviously craves, it's time to empty out the mailbag . . .

You can make a very strong case for Wilson Valdez as the MVC of the Phillies. He was not even on the team at the season start, but he held the infield together playing great defense at multiple positions while the regulars were out. Certainly deserves MUC, most underappreciated contributor.

JK,

Not sure whether JK stands for the initials in your name or "just kidding." A good portion of the Most Valuable Contributor column was written in jest, but not even I - joking or otherwise - would float Valdez as a candidate. He's been a fine fill-in player, and he's certainly done a better job than anyone could have imagined given how much he's had to be on the field this year. But let's not get carried away. Valdez didn't drag the team under when the season threatened to drown the squad. But he also didn't save everyone and drag them to shore, either.

I'd consider him for MVC, however, if he embraced a new nickname and began calling himself Exxon.

I disagree with your assessment of Ed Wade. I think he has been the Phillies MVC since he left. Why, you ask? Because he did not trade prospects like Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, etc.

Think about how awful those teams were and the payroll issues. He did not try to win now. He did not strip the farm system of talent in spite of his job being on the line. He does deserve some credit.

And speaking of GMs, I hope Ruben Amaro has some plans for restocking this team after the next two years. 

Mark,

I've always said Wade deserves more credit for how he handled the farm system when he was here. You mentioned that Wade was wise not to trade Howard and Utley. Same goes for Cole Hamels and Jimmy Rollins.

Still, the MVC column was mostly about this year and how Wade giftwrapped Roy Oswalt for the Phils. It's one thing for Wade to dump Oswalt and get some questionable pieces in return; it's another for him to subsidize part of the move and send an 18-wheeler full of millions to Philly in the deal. All four Astros fans in Houston had to be ticked.

Eagles Special Team Coach Bobby April sure got a lot of face time during [the 2d preseason] game.  He looks like a cross between Rich Kotite and Joe Banner. This scares me.  Any advice?

Neil,

A cross between Kotite and Banner would indeed be frightening - if April looked like that. He doesn't. I spent a long while studying his picture but couldn't decide who he resembles. (We've got a lot of time on our hands at Page 2 HQ.) I do know this: He doesn't remind me of Kotite or Banner at all.

Re: Advice. When scared, I like to curl up in the fetal position and cry until morning comes. Doesn't work for everyone.

My favorite Eagle of the past 20 years is Freddie Mitchell. Your disparaging remarks about Freddie in last Sunday's Inquirer show your lack of independent objective assessment. 

Freddie could catch any football aimed between his ankle tops and four feet above his head.  He didn't fumble. He could take a vicious hit and get right up. And was delightfully braggadocios. 

FredEx owns two of the most memorable plays in recent Eagles history - 4th and 26 (3 feet above his head), and Mr.McNabb's 16 second scramble for a completion versus Dallas (over the shoulder running at full speed 60 yards down field).

I know, you know and the Delaware Valley knows that Mr. McNabb couldn't share the spotlight with Freddie.  As strange as it seems, I believe Mr. McNabb very, very reluctantly passed the ball to Freddie.  

Frank,

Even for Page 2, things have gotten weird around here lately. Over the last few weeks, I've fielded several e-mails from members of a secret Von Hayes loving sect dubbed (by me) the Five for One Club. Defending VH was odd. This is odder.

If Mitchell was so impressive and only had his progress and talent arrested by that scoundrel McNabb, why wasn't FredEx picked up by some other NFL team after the Birds pushed him out of the nest? Why did he spend the last half-decade making bad Internet videos and begging to get on reality TV shows?

I was worried when the Five for Oners revealed themselves. But now that I know there's also a club full of people watching the 4th and 26 play over and over and chanting "His Hands Are So Great," I'm concerned for humanity in general. If any of you are thinking about having children, please reconsider.

Page 2 programming reminder: Ask Gonzo will start at 1 p.m. on Thursday. Like a game featuring umpire Scott Barry, it's the chat that turns heated for no reason whatsoever.