Gonzo: Hamels is most important Phillie this season

When last we saw Cole Hamels, the bright lights were less than flattering to him. The guy is no wider than a fungo bat and had just finished saying some things about as dense as one.

After Game 3 of the World Series, Hamels said he couldn't "wait for [the season] to end. It's been mentally draining." Then he added he was eager for a "fresh start." That prompted teammate and known knucklehead Brett Myers to walk past him in the clubhouse and quip something on the order of, "What are you doing here? I thought you quit." Myers said he was joking. And of course we all believed him, because when you think of high comedy, Ol' Escalade Myers and his world-renowned stand-up act immediately come to mind.

Yesterday, during a news conference, someone asked Charlie Manuel if he'd spoken to his No. 2 starter since the season ended.

"I never talked to him," Skinny Charlie said. "The guys I talked to this winter, I talked to [Placido] Polanco, [Danys] Baez, [Brian] Schneider. Those are the only three guys."

Manuel added that he'd spoken with Ruben Amaro Jr. and left a message with Roy Halladay but never heard back. And that was about it. It's not unusual. Guys like to do their own thing in the off-season. Plenty of time to catch up once pitchers and catchers report.

Still, there are a lot of people wondering what Hamels is up to and whether his head is right (not to mention his stuff). And with good reason. In the two most important seasons of his career - which happened to be two of the most important seasons in franchise history, as well as two of the most important seasons of our sports-loving lives - Hamels had radically different results. In '08 he was King Cole, World Series MVP. In '09 he was the negative image of the Fall Classic hero he had become, a guy who pitched poorly (or at least inconsistently) all year after spending much of the off-season shooting TV commercials and popping up on late-night talk shows.

While it's good he hasn't appeared in any more creepy, all-white ads in Philly Mag, it's also disquieting not to know what's going on with him. (Manuel said Hamels has been working on developing his third pitch this winter and actually has a pretty good curveball. That was essentially the extent of the update.)

The most pressing issue for these Phils is what they'll get out of Hamels. If he's the guy he was two years ago, they have two legitimate aces, and you have to like their chances to battle for the World Series and maybe even host another parade. If not, if Hamels is the scatterbrain whose mental toughness was repeatedly questioned last season - the guy who couldn't hit his spots on the mound or with the media - it's hard to envision the Phils getting past the AL's best even if they're lucky to make it that far.

Trading Cliff Lee might have been about money or restocking the farm system, but ultimately it was about Hamels. Should he perform well, Amaro will look like a genius and the rest of us will be quiet and content. If he fails, well, the season could get messy and the coverage almost certainly will.

Hamels is out there somewhere, ostensibly working on his curveball and waiting for spring training. That fresh start he wanted so badly a few months ago is nearly upon him. He'd better make the most of it. Hollywood can't afford more bad reviews.

A month ago, Tim Tebow could do no wrong and it was federally mandated that all media members fawn over him and drool as much as possible in the process. Not anymore. The former Florida quarterback is getting lots of attention (not all of it good) for appearing in an antiabortion ad that's supposed to run during the Super Bowl but might not (CBS is mulling). And during his first practice for the Senior Bowl earlier this week he struggled mightily under center, according to various reports. (ESPN's Todd McShay called it a "disaster.") This is like the scene in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke Skywalker has his hand chopped off and then hurls himself into the abyss - who saw the fall coming? . . . Um, if you're Greg Oden - or, say, anyone at all - why would you (allegedly) stand naked in front of a mirror and photograph yourself? And, no, we're not providing a link to the pics. We have plenty of soap to wash out your eyes, though, if you stumble upon them. . . . Programming reminder: Take II of "Ask Gonzo" will happen today at 1 p.m. on Philly.com. For the uninitiated, it's a free-form chat addressing everything from sports to pop culture to the weird, random thoughts in your head (or at least in mine). Potential topics for today will include (but won't be limited to), NFL overtime, Snooki from The Jersey Shore, Steven Tyler stepping away from Aerosmith, and the endless, draining Brett Favre. Page 2 isn't retiring anytime soon. Tell your friends.