You Talkin to Me?
West Coast reunion tour and chin music play in L.A.
From: Gonzalez, John
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: Pitching inside, sunny outside
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: Pitching inside, sunny outside
As I was walking down to the field a little while ago, I saw Tommy Lasorda sitting in the stands. Actually, I heard Lasorda sitting in the stands. He was on the phone, screaming at someone named Mike that the beef between the Dodgers and Phillies was wholly the Fightin's fault. He said, "They started it" and "They don't play the game the right way."
When did pitching inside become such an issue? And is it me, or is this much ado about nothing? Most of the time, baseball bench-clears are pointless. You hardly ever see guys trade real shots. More often, they just stand around and stare at each other. That's especially true in the postseason.
One more thing: What are we doing on the off day? Last time I was in Cali, I managed to sneak into a party at the Playboy Mansion. I think we should try to pull that off again.
From: Sheridan, Phil
To: Ford, Bob; Gonzalez, John
Subject: Pitching inside, sunny outside
My first thought as they kept throwing at Dodgers catcher Russell Martin was, "Why are they so intent on drilling Turtle?" Really, take a look at Martin when his mask if off sometime. He even has the beard right.
Guess that makes Nomar Johnny Drama.
Lasorda, as usual, is half right. The Phillies did start the little feud that boiled over after the Dodgers threw at Shane Victorino's casaba. People keep talking about Brett Myers throwing behind Manny Ramirez in Game 2, but they seem to forget he also flipped Martin in the at-bat right before that. So the Dodgers were riled before Martin got hit by Jamie Moyer and then dusted again by Clay Condrey.
Where Lasorda is wrong is about the Phillies' not playing the game right. Martin practically stands on the black around home plate. Throw inside and he's going to have to move. The Phillies are not only right to pitch him inside, they almost have to.
From: Ford, Bob
To: Gonzalez, John; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: Pitching inside, sunny outside
If what happened in these games happened in June, it would have been a 10-minute story, not a three-day argument. All this chest-thumping by the Dodgers about standing up for themselves and answering the Phillies' dirty play is just posturing. Doesn't have any effect on the games.
Off day? Well, we have to get to the workout and then write and by that time, I think we'll have to go back to the rooms and study stats to prepare for Game 5. I don't know what you're thinking about.
From: Gonzalez, John
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: Pitching inside, sunny outside
I'm thinking we should skip all that. Kate Fagan and Mike Jensen are here. I think they ought to handle all the off-day stuff while we we go in search of Bunnies. Also, Cali has several casinos, and I enjoy a good game of poker.
From: Ford, Bob
To: Gonzalez, John; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: Pitching inside, sunny outside
Hey, I forgot. What happened yesterday when you two cut me out of Talkin'? Is this like when Van Halen ditched Sammy Hagar? I'm not that easy to get rid of and I had some really interesting insights from San Francisco. It's not like I put them in the column.
From: Sheridan, Phil
To: Ford, Bob; Gonzalez, John
Subject: Pitching inside, sunny outside
He's catching on, Gonz. Darn. I think we ought to use Ford's stuff today just to distract him until we spring his replacement on him.
From: Gonzalez, John
To: Ford, Bob; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: Pitching inside, sunny outside
Didn't we tell you, Ford? We've been auditioning a new front man on the sly. But think of it this way: In 20 years, when we have the Talkin' Reunion Tour, we'll bring you back and charge a mint.
From: Ford, Bob
To: Gonzalez, John; Sheridan, Phil
Subject: Pitching inside, sunny outside
It's the boss, Jim Cohen, isn't it? Good luck with that forehead.
