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Driving a Zamboni drunk puts man on thin ice

Man from Fargo, N.D., gets nine days in jail after operating an ice-resurfacing machine while intoxicated.

Steven James Anderson was sentenced for driving a Zamboni while drunk.
Steven James Anderson was sentenced for driving a Zamboni while drunk.Read more

THERE'S NOTHING funny about drunk driving.

But you can't help but chuckle after learning a Fargo, N.D., man was sentenced to nine days in jail yesterday after being convicted of DUI while behind the wheel of a Zamboni.

No one was injured on the January night that Steven James Anderson drunkenly drove an ice-resurfacing machine at a girls' high school hockey game.

According to Dana Mogck, a news anchor for Fargo's local ABC affiliate WDAY6, Anderson was weaving on the ice and crashed into the boards several times. At one point, Mogck said Anderson yelled to the PA system operator to "crank" up an AC/DC song.

No word on whether it was the band's "Have A Drink On Me."

Police arrested Anderson - who has since been fired - and the game continued under less-than-favorable icy conditions.

And that's where things got complicated.

According to police, Anderson's blood-alcohol content exceeded the legal limit. But legal limit to do what?

Anderson's attorney, Lindsey Haugen, argued that state and local laws do not classify a Zamboni as a vehicle.

Judge Stephen Dawson begged to differ.

In addition to jail time, Dawson ruled that Anderson must pay a $1,500 fine and participate in a sobriety program.

"It was a tough end of the year, start of the year," Anderson told the judge. "I hope never to see you again."

Cut the comedy

Funny guy, that Ted Cruz.

Last Saturday, the Republican presidential candidate appeared before a partisan group in Andover.

"Let me start by saying: Tom Brady was framed," Cruz said to rousing cheers. "And I will say this: I have it on good authority that Hillary Clinton did it. Why do you think she deleted her emails?"

If you ask us, Cruz has a rather deflated sense of humor.