Superhero threatens Super Bowl Media Day with unwieldy power of prediction
NEWARK, N.J. -- Among the scrambling reporters and weary cameramen and dancing orange leprechauns at Super Bowl Media Day, a hero strut about, unnoticed, which was odd, for a man whose powers include impeccable selection, and nothing else.
But before today, he’s been more than Pick Boy, the guy meandering around the entrance to the floor of the Prudential Center. He was Pick Boy, the costumed mainstay of Nickeldeon’s U-Pick Live, a show on which screaming children in a studio audience decided the network’s programming schedule for the afternoon.
It was there his powers were first harnessed and used for the good of screaming child-kind. Whether Pick Boy was brought in because his powers matched the show, or the show was based around him initially, is up in the air.
All that’s known is that one of the show’s polls was eventually “Who should be kicked off the show forever?” and this time, it was Pick Boy who was picked.
“I’m an institution around these parts,” he says. “At this point I think they just hold these media days to get me here.”
And before you can say, “What is this dated reference doing at an NFL media event,” you should know that for one, there was also a guy dressed like Waldo waddling about, as well as the aforementioned leprechaun. But Pick Boy has a personality that matches the spirit of football, so don’t worry, this all makes so, so much sense.
“I like to look good, run fast, and play hard. And I think that’s what you need to be in the Super Buh…” he explains, somehow mispronouncing “bowl.” “I don’t even know what the Super Bowl is,” he admits. “I’m gonna be honest with you. They just tell me to show up.”
Then, the inevitable occurs. Pick Boy is asked to engage his only registered super power and pick a winner to the big game.
“Oh, you want me to pick a winner, because that’s what I do,” he replied, as though the thought had never occurred to him. “The thing with the picking, because I’m the world’s greatest picking superhero, I had to stop playing the lotto after I won eight times in a row. So you could see that this is easy, it’s a 50-50 shot. I don’t want to ruin it for anybody. I think that’s what I have to do here as a hero to protect the integrity of the game.”
“I don’t want to ruin it for these guys here,” he says, gesturing to a crowd that may not understand who/what he is.
A heroic gesture, certainly. Pick Boy has saved us once more from impending doom; doom impending upon us, tragically, due to his own powers.