Friday, November 27, 2015

Quiz: What team would the Eagles resemble if Eagles fans were in charge?

Co-authored by Matt Dering. Find him on Twitter here.

Quiz: What team would the Eagles resemble if Eagles fans were in charge?

Eagles fans cheer. (Matt Rourke/AP)
Eagles fans cheer. (Matt Rourke/AP)

Co-authored by Matt Dering. Find him on Twitter here.

Have you ever wasted your time taking a dumb quiz on Facebook that tells you what A-Team member or Sex and the City character you would be? Don't lie. Of course you have.

With the Super Bowl over, the 2013 season officially in the books, and amateur GM season about to begin, let's apply that same kind of highly scientific quiz to Eagles fans to determine what team they would build if they were in charge.

1) What kind of wide receiver would you prefer?

A) Possession receiver who gets open, and never drops passes.

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B) Small speedy guy with bigtime playmaking ability.

C) Well-rounded receiver, who isn't elite at any one thing.

D) If he ain't over 6'5, not interested.

2) What kind of running back would you prefer?

A) Scat back who is quicker than he is fast.

B) Slow, 220+ pound bruiser.

C) Jack of all trades who can run, catch, and block, but isn't great at any one thing.

D) Speedster with big play ability who doesn't break many tackles.

3) What type of mentality do you want in your head coach?

A) Player's coach who creates a easy-going workplace.

B) Brainiac with new ideas.

C) "Take no BS" bulldog who yells, screams, and demands that his players play hard even when down 30 with the opposing team in the victory formation.

D) Old-timer who's been around for a while and knows the game inside and out.

4) What are your feelings on building the offensive line?

A) Waste of a draft pick. You can get tough, gritty run blockers in free agency.

B) Extremely important for stability of offense. Continue drafting OL help to fill in behind vets.

C) Mix of free agency and the draft to address OL needs.

5) You have a glaring hole at safety. What do you do?

A) Safety isn't that important. You can get a guy late in the draft.

B) Allocate dollars prudently. Be willing to spend to bring in talent, but don't wildly overpay if an unfavorable market develops.

C) Be willing to draft a safety high, as long as there isn't a significantly better player on the board.

D) Pay the best free agent safety whatever he wants. Cost doesn't matter at all. JUST GET HIM.

6) You have a glaring hole at CB, and an aging star becomes available for trade. What do you do?

A) It's all about winning now. Trade your first round pick for him. Duhhhh...

B) No thanks. We'll continue to build through the draft and develop our own guys.

7) Your locker room is infested with some sort of bacterial issue and your players are at risk. What do you do?

A) Whatever is necessary to solve the issue to ensure the best environment possible for your players.

B) Seriously? They play football for a living and get paid handsomely to do so. The players need to stop complaining and watch more game tape.

8) Describe your ideal QB.

A) Scrambler with a gun. The faster the better. Accuracy and decision making is less important than making plays.

B) Balance is the key. Give me a guy who has some ability as a passer, who can also run if need be.

C) Tall, slow, and white, please. 

9) True or false: You have a better chance of winning a Super Bowl with Derek Landri.

A) True

B) False

10) What must your defense do to succeed?

A) Get pressure on the opposing QB.

B) Force turnovers.

C) Above all else, no matter what, if the NFL has taught us anything, YOU MUST STOP THE RUN.

Congratulations! You're the 2012-2013 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

• Tall WR (Vincent Jackson).

• Slow 220+ pound RB (Doug Martin).

• Formerly coached by the "take no BS" Greg Schiano.

• Former GM Mark Domenik hasn't drafted an offensive lineman since 2009, and openly admitted he couldn't evaluate them.

• Overdrafted safety Mark Barron at 7th overall in 2012, then overpaid safety Dashon Goldson to the tune of 5 years, $41.25 in 2013.

• Traded their 1st round pick and a conditional 4 to the Jets for a 27 year old CB (Darrelle Revis) coming off an ACL tear, despite being nowhere close to Super Bowl contention.

• Had an embarrasing MSRA infestation.

• Mike Glennon.

• Derek Landri is indeed a Buc.

• The 2012 Bucs gave up the 10th most points in the league, but they were #1 against the run!


The Buccaneers went 7-9 in 2012 and 4-12 in 2013. They subsequently fired their head coach and GM.

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