Dissing the Dallas Cowboys, Buzzfeed-style
The popular art of saying, "Dallas sucks!" is taken to a whole new level by a website that sounds like a tailgating game-plan.
Buzzfeed takes on the NFL's sacred Cowboys in a post that's as hilarious as another late Tony Romo interception -- IF you're OK that the U.S.A. gets needled along the way.
(1) Their Best Days Are Behind Them,
(2) All Their Leaders Do Is Fight with One Other and It’s Possible None of Them Have Any Idea What They’re Doing,
(4) Their Fans/Citizens Take Way Too Much Pride in Things They Have Absolutely No Connection to,
(6) Everyone Hates Them, and
(7) None of the Above Is Going to Change Their High Opinion of Themselves in Any Way.
Among the elaborations:
"Cowboys fans are notorious for having jumped on the bandwagon despite not being from Texas or necessarily even knowing much about football. Meanwhile, every single American takes credit for liberating France in 1944."
OK, not everyone finds this stuff funny, but heart symbol, "LOL" and "Win" were outpolling "Fail" and "Trashy" about 2-to-1.
"What happened dude, they didn't let you into the stadium? C'mon man, stop bitching, and man up," comments one New Yorker.
No, the writer's not from Phillly. Ben Mathis-Lille, who hails from Michigan, says, "My greatest sports allegiance is probably University of Michigan football, which is ironic, because you could probably replace 'Cowboys' with 'Michigan' pretty easily in my piece."
Dallas-USA parallels go only so far.
"America has been down before and come back strong," he said. "The Cowboys meanwhile are the team that everyone else makes a comeback AGAINST."
(Let's hope so, because the Eagles-Cowboys rematch, a possible division title tilt, is the teams' last regular game this season.)
Also, the country through Social Security makes a big commitment to people who worked their whole lives, while, "to get a long-term financial commitment from the Cowboys you just have to have, like, two good games on national TV," Mathis-Lille said.
Our two cents: Unlike Tony Romo, the country still loves Carrie Underwood.
Previously, Buzzfeed brought us "35 Ways You Know You Are From Philly." which kindly avoids any mention of throwing snowballs at Santa Claus.
Contact staff writer Peter Mucha at 215-854-4342 or firstname.lastname@example.org.