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Marcus Hayes: That song you hear is the Eagles' funeral dirge

NEW ORLEANS - When the Saints scored a touchdown, which was often, the 77,099 bopped and bobbed en masse to the funkiest celebration song in the history of the NFL.

Michael Vick (7) reacts on the sideline during the second quarter of the game against the Saints. (Ron Cortes/Staff Photographer)
Michael Vick (7) reacts on the sideline during the second quarter of the game against the Saints. (Ron Cortes/Staff Photographer)Read more

NEW ORLEANS - When the Saints scored a touchdown, which was often, the 77,099 bopped and bobbed en masse to the funkiest celebration song in the history of the NFL.

Consider it the soundtrack to the Eagles' jazz funeral in the Big Easy.

Four times, the Ying Yang Twins' "Halftime [Stand Up and Get Crunk]" blasted from the speakers that hang above the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. To be fair, the song is more funk than jazz; and, further, more schlock than song. But it has an infectious beat, and Saints fans seem to love it.

The Eagles, who lost, 28-13, to the Saints, will hear it in their sleep.

It is the soundtrack of their season, which has become an endless loop of lousy tunes.

Monday night, they played that same, old song again.

The offensive line blocked no one for the first 15 minutes, and quarterback Michael Vick got clobbered; seven sacks, innumerable hits.

Vick threw a bad pass that the Saints returned 99 yards for a touchdown, his 14th turnover of the season.

The defense tackled no one for the first two quarters.

The offense abandoned the run in the red zone.

Play it again, Andy.

Nothing in the catalog of the Ying Yang Twins seems like the sort of music that would populate Andy Reid's iPod library - well, maybe their timeless collaboration with genre mate L'il Jon, "Get Low."

Low, as in, four straight losses to drop them to 3-5.

Low, as in, only two teams in the NFC with more losses . . . and those teams haven't had their bye.

Low, as in, the Pop Warner play that failed.

After the Saints' fourth score, Riley Cooper lay on his belly in the end zone. Brandon Boykin caught the kickoff, took a few steps forward and was supposed to throw the ball laterally across the field to Cooper, mimicking the Music City Miracle that worked for the Titans 12 years before.

The throw floated forward, though, and Cooper's dash to the end zone was called back.

It is a humiliating thing to hear 77,000 people snicker.

The Eagles are past humiliation.

Reid fired Juan Castillo, the only coordinator whose unit was playing respectably . . . and the defense proceeded to implode.

Reid's offense was stymied by the worst defense in the NFL.

Against possibly the worst defense in NFL history.

Even the Eagles' successes were less football than flummery.

In the third quarter, Brandon Graham collected a rare sack and stripped Drew Brees, and Vick found DeSean Jackson on a 77-yard misdirection bomb two plays later.

The Saints (3-5) fumbled the ensuing kickoff, and, up 21-10, seemed ripe for failure. But the Birds could manage only 3 yards before settling for a field goal.

That happened long after the Eagles surrendered to their compulsion to pass the ball.

Regardless of the situation, regardless of the team they face, if they think throwing it will make more points quicker, they always will throw it.

Even when the run is working.

To wit:

Against the worst run defense in the league, the Eagles pounded the ball to the 5-yard line in the first quarter. They ran once more. The play failed. So, they chose to pass. Vick threw the interception.

In the second quarter, they pounded the ball down to within sniffing distance of the Saints' end zone again, tried a run, failed . . . and abandoned the run. Two passes later, they kicked a field goal.

The song remains the same.

There were mitigating circumstances.

Starting safety Nate Allen missed the game with a hamstring injury.

Rookie guard Dennis Kelly started only his second NFL game, and he was atrocious in the first quarter.

But Vick threw the pick.

Reid and Marty Mornhinweg called the plays.

Slim corner Nnamdi Asomugha, whose dress and style recalls Terence Trent D'Arby, did anything but hold the hard line.

Official fan monitor Jason Babin, whose ear is ever keen for criticism, almost went sackless for the fifth straight game, but recorded one in the fourth quarter.

Brent Celek fumbled in the red zone in the fourth, the club's 19th turnover in eight games.

This is the sort of disharmony that cannot be fixed by backup quarterback Nick Foles, or new defensive coordinator Todd Bowles, or anyone.

Not now.

Listen closely, and join the funeral march.

Or just tune it out for the second half of the season.