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You Talkin' to Me? Throwing some elbows on MMA

From: Gonzalez, John To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley Subject: There will be blood I've been meaning to get to this, if only because I know Ashley is pumped about it: Former Eagle Herschel Walker is training for a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) bout. He'll have his first pro fight down in Florida at the end of the month. He's 47 now, and he'll be fighting a guy 20 years younger.

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley

Subject: There will be blood

I've been meaning to get to this, if only because I know Ashley is pumped about it: Former Eagle Herschel Walker is training for a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) bout. He'll have his first pro fight down in Florida at the end of the month. He's 47 now, and he'll be fighting a guy 20 years younger.

Not surprisingly, I'm intrigued by this. I'm a fan of the sport, but it's the sideshow spectacle here that appeals to me. The guy just loves to throw himself into all sorts of odd situations. Anyone else interested in seeing the former football player/track star/Olympic bobsledder/ballerina begin his cage-fighting career?

From: Ford, Bob

To: Fox, Ashley; Gonzalez, John

Subject: There will be blood

Ash, let me get out of your way on this one.

From: Fox, Ashley

To: Ford, Bob; Gonzalez, John

Subject: There will be blood

I'm sure this will be stunner, but I actually will watch MMA from time to time. I got sucked in during the Kimbo Slice prime-time farce, then watched the real thing and couldn't turn it off. It was like watching a car crash. Bloody, nasty, scary, but somewhat alluring.

As for Herschel Walker, that's sad he needs to get in the ring either to appease his ego or his wallet, but so be it. He's not the first athlete to do something like that, and I'm sure he won't be the last. But I won't watch that. I do have my standards.

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley

Subject: There will be blood

Wait. Ashley, you like MMA? I'm floored by this revelation. That's like finding out Bob is into hip-hop or that Wax can read.

I think you should pit the children against each other in a cage match to see who loves Mom more. The PPV numbers would be insane.

From: Fox, Ashley

To: Ford, Bob; Gonzalez, John

Subject: There will be blood

Leave my kids out of this. I'd rather see you and Ford in a cage. Ford wins. Easily. You might not get off the mat. Now, that would be entertainment.

From: Gonzalez, John

To: Ford, Bob; Fox, Ashley

Subject: There will be blood

Agreed. He's the top-ranked fighter on the RHC (Retirement Home Circuit). I saw him pummel Denny "Dentures" Malone in front of tens of people at Shady Pines, at least one or two of whom were awake.

From: Ford, Bob

To: Fox, Ashley; Gonzalez, John

Subject: There will be blood

I don't get all this cage fighting. I mean, the cage can't even fight back. It's like telephone-booth fighting. (Those were little glass boxes where people once made phone calls, Gonz.)